Mom's still driving at 90. How do we stop it? - AgingCare.com

Mom's still driving at 90. How do we stop it?

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Mom won't give up her driving. Granted it is about .9 miles to the local VFW, no main roads, where she goes each day but she is so off balance and can barely walk, uses a cane when she remembers and should really be using a walker. She is getting so she can't remember how to pay her bills either She is refusing to let me help her in any way--POA, etc.

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I had the same problem with my dad. I kept telling him he could hurt someone and even himself, and he couldn't live with himself knowing he hurt or killed someone due to his driving but he still wanted to drive. I finally one day just took the keys from the house and told him where ever he wanted to go out my husband and I would take him. he is not safe on the roads any more. he got use to it. called me for everything after that. He died four days ago.....god I miss that man.....
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I had the same problem with my dad. I kept telling him he could hurt someone and even himself, and he couldn't live with himself knowing he hurt or killed someone due to his driving but he still wanted to drive. I finally one day just took the keys from the house and told him where ever he wanted to go out my husband and I would take him. he is not safe on the roads any more. he got use to it. called me for everything after that. He died four days ago.....god I miss that man.....
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Assuming she is not demented, does she understand the financial catastrophe that might result for an accident? It is a mistake to think that because she has insurance all would be covered. Would the thought of being poverty stricken give her pause?
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Veronica, wouldn't that be vehicle thieft without some sort of POA?
Your two examples are good but around here we have had more people injured in their homes when a vehicle crashed thru the wall.
We have had many people injured or killed crossing the street on on the sidewalk. So far I don't remember of any scooters being hit and I see many of them out and about.
Some use the road because the sidewalks are not compatible with wheel chairs or scooters.
It was just a suggestion and would depend on the local traffic.
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Old Sailor who wants a scooter when you have a perfectly good car to get around even in the most inclement weather. Even a scooter would present significant hazards. One lady in our community got struck on pedestrian crossing in her scooter (she had right of way) Another time the bus driver did not properly attach the restraints for the scooter on the bus and she got thrown out going round a corner.
Best thing would be to disable the car and have it tiwed to a repair shop never to return.
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I am wondering if a scooter would still provide the transportation to the VFW?
Would online bill payment work for her? She could still get the paper statements and bank statements to confirm payment.
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There are quite a few threads around here on this problem. It sure does seem to be a huge problem. From what I've read, you can:

Talk with her doctor and have him order her testing or send notice to DMV that she shouldn't be driving. They can call her in for testing.

See an attorney to obtain consult on Guardianship, what evidence you need, costs, etc.

I'm not sure what you mean by POA. Do you have Durable POA? If so, I'd consult with attorney to see about your authority to sell the vehicle, if she now incompetent and not able to handle her own affairs. I'd make sure I was on sound legal footing.

Another idea is to offer to transport her either by family, friends or hired transport. That way, she would not have to drive for her groceries. If this is dementia, she won't likely just give it up, though, my LO did. She forgot how to get out of the car one day.....it scared her and she hung up the keys and refused to drive. THANK goodness.
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