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Mom is 82, in bad health (undergoing 5th chemo treatment today for stage 4 lymphoma, has hemolytic anemia, diabetes), but has always travelled with husband, and later with family or even her CGiver and CGiver's son, to London.
I've put off her request to go with her for the last several yrs because of her lack of strength and mobility. She had little wind power, little leg power, tho both lungs and legs function "adequately", and pushes a wheelchair to get around, sits in it when necessary. No, won't use the little combo seat, wheely thing in the house!
Anyway, she spends all her time at home in bed, eyes closed listening to TV. She'll do same in London, tho she'd like to go to a couple of places. I know we can have assistance from almost every "door" to "door", cabs when needed, etc. I can probably check the little combo wheely chair (sorry, I canNOT remember what to call it!!!!) and use that, but I wonder if I should consider renting a wheelchair...?

I jump ahead.....the doctor will advise by month's end, I think, if she needs another treatment. She has told him about wanting to go. He says she's doing well. I've not spoken to him yet. (Oh yes, she's in TX, I'm in CA), but will do so after this week.

The real, logical me says this is a no brainer. There's no way, no reason, she can't do it and shouldn't do it. But then a gentle part of me says, if the Dr. says she "could" do it, then it's really up to ME and what I can arrange FOR her isn't it? And what responsibility I'm willing to assume? Oh, just made me think......for those of you who know my case....how do I handle this since I'm not her POA med or financially? What if?

Any experiences out there?

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My mother also brings up the subject of going places. Her main one is she wants to go to the beach. I know my mother can barely walk on a sidewalk. Walking on sand would be impossible for her. We could sit in the hotel room all day. She also has to use the bathroom every few minutes and refuses to wear protective undergarments. My biggest concern is what always tends to happen with her. When we go anywhere, she is ready to turn around and come back in an hour or two. She likes the idea of going more than the reality. I can't picture driving 8 hours only to come back the next day. I told her to ask my brother to take her. She said she couldn't do that.

People may think I'm selfish to say no to taking her. They don't know her like I do. I told her I would take her to a nearby lake and we could rent a cabin, but she wouldn't go for that idea. It had to be a gulf shore beach. I've found it strange that she never did these things when she could, but wants to do them now that she can't.
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This is JMO, but I think this whole idea makes no sense. Your mother may want to travel, but she's not in any condition to travel. Also, you cannot take your mother anywhere without her Medical and Financial POA's approval and, in fact, the POA needs to be with your mother if she travels. So, I'm thinking this whole idea is a "no-go."
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Eleven hours on a plane would wipe me out. I am 62, walk three miles a day and lost 45 pounds with 15 more to go. Still, sitting for 11 hours would not be something I would look forward to. Your dear mother is very ill. Think long and hard about this. Her mind may be willing but her body may not.
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Your subject heading said "she's not capable". This is a huge undertaking on your part. It will be no vacation, though you both have dreams of it being one. Plus you are in another state, she could be worse than you know. Being on a plane for 11 hours in an already frail condition is asking for disaster. Try a day trip near where she lives. It will show you reality of what an extended trip would be like .I don't think you would want to look back on the situation someday as being a disaster.
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First of all, her MD would have to approve the travel. Flight time from Dallas to London is eleven hours. Can she sit in a chair for eleven hours? Your medical insurance will not cover you offshore. You would need to carry comprehensive medical records with you. Going places takes stamina, and she really doesn't seem to have any. It's a lovely thought, I would tell her "someday, soon" but leave it at that.
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When my dad lived with me he was always talking about how he'd like to get back to his home town in Alabama one last time. We couldn't afford to fly and I could not have afforded a trip like that on my own. He said he'd pay. But the logistics of such a trip were mind-boggling. I could barely care for him in my home much less on the road for 2 days. I refused to share a hotel room with him but I couldn't leave him on his own either. I know he would have loved such a trip and maybe I was selfish for not making it happen but I couldn't put myself through such a trainwreck. He was frequently incontinent of bowel.

But that's me. If you do travel with your mom you have GOT TO have POA. A client of mine's sister was in Europe with her husband and he died and she got tied up over there for weeks because it was such a bureaucratic mess. If you're caring for your mom you probably ought to have POA anyway but definitely if you're going to travel with her.

If you're willing and she's able why not?
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