Mom's POA / "sweetie pie" has convinced her not to let my husband and me help manage her monthly income. What can I do?

If this were happening to my mom and I felt these people were financially abusing her, I'd go to court. I would not be able to sit by and watch outsiders take advantage of someone I love. I wouldn't be able to live with myself. But that's just me.

It appears that you care about your mom and it appears this "sweetie pie" is being malicious at best.
Call the clerk of the Supreme Court in your area and ask about a court appointed "conservator" or "mentor". It's called different things state to state. Pretty much what they do is observe the fiduciary duties of the POA and how they are acting as agent for your mom, the principal.
Your choice if you want to advise your mom and sweetie pie what you are about to do.
I assure you the court will be glad to help and the financials (from the past as well) will be under scrutiny. In some cases, if it appears that fraud was committed then there could be subsequent criminal charges filed if the courts deem.
Good luck, be well

Wash your hands of all the financial stuff. She knows darn well she is squandering her money on a fantasy. So be it. When she is broke, do not bail her out, do not take her in. Usually it's old men that engage is this sort of vicarious thrill. C'est La Vie.

I can relate to the post from Answer #1, because there's so much frustration involved, that you just feel like throwing your hands up in the air & walking away. However, I'm in total agreement with the post from Answer #2, which is the course of action I ensued. YOU DO WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO...to make sure your Mother is protected! You only have one Mother. Bottom line is, as long as she's on this earth, she's going to require help (emotionally & financially). And if all of her money is gone...SOMEBODY will have to step up to the plate to help her anyway, so you may as well try to put a stop to the negligent action, while you can.

I'll try to be brief. I, too, experienced a non-relative taking advantage of my Mother (who is 80 years old). Point blank, the person had been stealing her money. I discovered (late last year) that over a course of 3 years, this person has stolen close to $38,000. This person was so sneaky, they actually signed onto my Mother's bank accounts as a Joint Account Holder. I was instructed, legally, to obtain a POA to oversee my Mother's affairs, which I did, & I closed all of her bank accounts. The matter is now in the hands of Law Enforcement. I would not have been able to live with myself if I didn't do what I could to protect her. The only challenge you may encounter is that the individual in your matter, actually is the POA for your Mom. If you can gather evidence to support what you think is happening, that will go a very long way & then proceed the matter legally.

I won't lie, the process of gathering evidence; along with the day-to-day care & concern for your Mother is grueling, frustrating & for me, I cried a lot of days/nights...but I have peace in knowing I did the right thing.

Sorry for the long post and I wish you the best in your efforts.

I know this sounds far fetched but contact AARP ..they have helped me out in the past and are a bottomless pit of resources and information.They have a 1-800 number listed on their web site.They have a consumer staff member,Ron Burley.Look him up on the web site, there is a form to fill out.If there is a solution,he will advise you..free of charge...good luck.Just call they are very nice and very helpful.

She may be competent but that doesn't mean she is invulnerable to being financially abused. Elder abuse is illegal, not to mention immoral. Do what you have to do because in the end ,you will never regret doing the right thing. Sometimes we have to love people enough to let them hate us. Hang in there and best of luck to you.

Yes I agree with Lynn have his POA revoked and contact elder protection services. I know how frustrating this is my mum is taking all her money out of her bank and her direct debits are not being paid but she has dementia and dosnt know what shes at. I as her cargiver can do nothing as i dont have POA nobody has as she refuses to get it. If she dosnt make me POA then I walk out of here the maincarer should always have POA but your brother does not have your mums welfare at heart just his own greed. So low when family abuse thier own parents.

Jesus! And if she were suffering from liver disease would he bring her bottles of wine? Phewf.

Genuinely happy, is she, do you think? If she really is, and APS are smiling on the arrangements (bizarrely, but there you are) then as PS said, I suppose you do just have to accept that she's ploughed her own furrow. Horrible for you, I'm sorry.

Legally they are committing what is called "fiduciary abuse" call adult protective services and tell them that the caregiver and son are committing elder abuse. That's undo influence over an elderly person. If you can't afford a lawyer to go to court you can I believe go to legal aide and ask them for legal advice. Also for kazzaa you can go to court as well and file for power of attorney on the basis that your mom has dementia and therefore does not have what they call "testamentary capacity" which means she doesn't know what she's doing. Basically you tell the courts that your mom can't control her finances.

She is being financially taken advantage of in your opinion. Report the financial abuse suspicions to APS. You say they have been in and don't see reason to come back...were those visits "in general" or specific to financial suspicions? If not, tell them this is the specific concern. If you disagree with the case workers opinion, appeal it to their supv.

Frankly, if mom is of sound mind and wants to give it all to sweetie pie or her son, then she has right to do so. If she changed POA from you or brother to sweetie pie recently, you could contest that possibly by alleging she was coerced, however, I suspect they are local and she has chosen to do so of her own free will even if it was a poor decision.

You will have to then let go and not rescue mom if she gets into financial trouble...she will just go on Medicaid. You can always explain to her about her finances, current state, and that if she continues giving it away, she will be on Medicaid and won't be able to remain at home or go to a "nice place" when the time comes. That may be a wake up call to her to at least start conserving her resources and stop letting these leeches bleed her.