Mom, 82, hemolytic anemia, stage 4 lymphoma (undergoing chemo now) and diabetic....... NOT in the best shape, but lives at home and has live in caregiver, of sorts.
Mom over draws her account every month and has for years, but has always had savings. I've tried to help her with this many many times. No interest. Since 2002 or so, she has been enamoured with her caregiver's SON. Now, in 2014, the 2 of them are joint POAs. For the past several years he has poisoned my mother against me.....not opinion, but fact.
My husband and I visited recently, (she adores him, and he let her know that we are happy to help her manage incoming and outgoing money...... but SON must have nothing to do with finances (as she has given him extraordinary amounts over the years, he takes as needed, etc). He has lost her money in failed businesses and has been unemployed for the majority of years I've known him. He's married, my age, BTW... As POA, he would have to agree to work with us, of course. Fat chance!
Next day Mom agreed and told SON same. He then proceeded to tell me that he had decided not to do it, despite me telling him that he was to act upon Mom's wishes, not the other way around.
Mom was unable to override her sweetie pie as she calls him. She cannot bear to go against him, tho I clearly explained in front of SON, his mother and Mom, that we will not help when he is allowing her money to be mishandled month after month. And where will HE find the extra money when needed? Medical deductibles? Tax payments?
Mom said that all she wants me to do is "love her". Can I really do that by sitting back and watching her CHOOSE him to take care of her?
Sorry for length. Not even sure what I'm asking for.......