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My mom has lived with us since 2005. We moved from Syracuse, NY to Myrtle Beach, SC in 2015. My sisters kept calling police. Accusing myself and my daughters, 22 and 19, of abuse, always unfounded. DSS did come over last August and my mom was alone, watching tv with the family dog. They got her to let them in and they took her bc she was left alone. We never even got to say goodbye. I was her POA and executrix. She has lived with my middle sister for less than one year and she is already sick of taking care of her! So she and my oldest sister put her in a nursing home in NY last Friday. 5 hours after they left, they receive a call. She was left unattended in the bathroom and found on the floor with a fractured neck! She spent a few days in the hospital and yesterday admitted her to yet another nursing home, both of which are in Oswego, NY, where none of us live, but where we grew up. My mom's oldest sister is there. I called my mom today and the first thing she asked me is would I come and get her. I want to bring my mother back home with me and my girls in SC, but the administrator called and told me that at least one of my two sisters would have to agree or else I would need a court order. Do I have to apply for guardianship? Which court would I apply to? Family court or something else? Should I bring my copy of the POA and will? She was of sound mind when those were drawn up a few years ago. I also have her SC ID issued by the SC DMV showing her as living at my current address. We all miss her so much and we are her family! I made a promise to her that I would always keep her with me and take care of her and I want to keep that promise! Thank you all for any direction or advice you can give.

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You don't say what your mom's diagnosis is? It sounds like she needs round the clock care... That means she cannot be left alone, even for a bit while you run an errand. Are you prepared for that? Sorry I don't have any of the legal answers for you but I commend you for wanting to care for your mom. We care for my mom in our home. She is stage 7 Alzheimer's and requires 24/7 care. My husband and I take turns going to events. It is a lot to give up, but rewarding too in it's own way. Just be sure you have thought it all through. It can be a heavy financial burden too.
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She was diagnosed with dementia in 2016. Now my sisters are saying Alzheimer's. I realize what I have to do, but she raised us as a single mom when my parents divorced when I was two. My sisters were 6 and 9. I would do anything for my mom. I just need to know what steps I need to take.
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Wow, what a nightmare and how heartbreaking! They call the police on unfounded elder abuse but they think they can do better so they shove her in a home when they get a little taste of what you were dealing with. How long was she living with you prior to this event? Was she mentally safe enough to be left alone? If so, can you prove that? Was someone in your family staking out the house waiting for the opportune moment when you left so they could call the cops? Sometimes I run out to the store for a few minutes by myself, I would hate to think ( but would not be surprised if they did ) wait for an opportunity to make me look irresponsible so they could take Mom away. Jealousy. Greed. Powerful motives.
Now look, they got her where they want her and she is now seriously injured. I wonder, will they go after the facility for neglect? Have the police come and take her out of there? Now where to? This is so unfair to you and your Mother. The only advice I can come up with is speak to the attorney that drew up the papers with you as POA and get his advice on these things. If he is not helping, call another Eldercare Attorney. I am sorry you are going through this with your family, I truly am. Hang in there.
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Thanks. She's been living with us since 2005. I called my atty and she is calking me Monday with the name of a good elder law atty. I cannot believe they'd rather have her in a home than with one of her own kids! I hope I can get her out of there!
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I can tell that you don't want to hear this, but just maybe with dementia now Alzheimer's, a nursing home is where a doctor recommended that she go. You can't just be put in a nursing home. There must be sound medical reasons for someone to go into one. People with dementia/Alzheimer's do reach a point where one or two people at home are frankly not enough to care for them 24/7. My question is has a doctor determined that she is at such a point? Must have for her to be in a nursing home.

The nursing home would cover its own liability by determining if she is a medically safe discharge according to the nursing home doctor. There is no guarantee that filling for guardianship would be awarded to you after the court battle. Since you live so far away, one of your sisters might be made the guardian which sounds worse, plus she was found left alone in your house which led to all of this to begin with.

I think we need more information about the doctor's diagnosis of your mother's condition and thus why she was placed in a nursing home.
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Mamateetee,
They want her in a facility because they have more control, access to her than if she is with you. Control. It has nothing to do what's best for Mom, it boils down to what is best for THEM! Now, do take into consideration when you speak with Eldercare Lawyer that they seem to love to call the police on you with false accusations and if you can manage to get her back, see if you can nip that behaviour in the butt on PAPER! You don't want to go down that path again, do you? Keep me in the loop, I will keep my fingers crossed it all works out for both of you.
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