Follow
Share

I really hate to complain but I have no private time with my mother who has Alzheimer's we used to set in the room and I could do her hair or paint her nails or just watch TV and hold her hand. Every time I go to visit she is sitting in the lobby where we still have no privacy and the husband of the other is always there. I have asked the staff if there is a time that he is not there and they said he is there in the morning till bedtime. Her roommate also has a full size bed in their room which takes up more space plus her husband. Should I ask to have mom moved? She was in the room first. I have gotten to the point where I don't go as much as I did and then I beat myself up for feeling like this. Any suggestions would help.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Why *not* ask to have your mother moved? Ask nicely, and the worst that can happen is nothing. I completely understand your sense of grievance because it must feel as though your mother is being crowded out and short-changed; but unfortunately it doesn't sound as if there's anything going on that the NH can't point to in the agreement - residents can have visitors in their rooms, residents can bring their own beds, etc. etc.

And, sitting in the *lobby*??? For why? Is there no lounge or sitting room for the residents' use?

What's the husband like? Is he the sort you could perhaps build up friendlier terms with, and from there persuade to take room-mate out on a tour of the grounds or for a chat in the lobby every so often? Tell him there's a girlie session going on with hair and nails and what have you, so he might like to make himself scarce?

But I agree with Patrice - staying away is definitely not going to solve it. Best of luck, please update.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

This is so hard for me to answer because I was one of those people who was with my mom all day while in the nursing home. If it bothers you don't let your mom suffer by not visiting. Ask for a private room if that is what mom wants. Most nursing homes have all different areas, little gardens, lobbies, community rooms that maybe you could take mom to if you wanted private time with your mom. Is your mom leaving her room for the lobby because she just doesn't like staying in her room all day or because the room mate is annoying to her? If this is just something thst bothers you and not mom, you have to think long and hard about this before you request a room change. Please don't not visit mom, you both need each other more then ever now. Hope you find some peace in this situation 😊
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Is there a curtain you can draw between the beds?
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter