Mom's (87) at home needing care and now I have just inserted my best friend into the household who is going on Hospice. Any hints/tips?

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My Mom has dementia along with a host of other health challenges. Her stubborness and paranoia are getting markedly worse. To add to the challenge, my best friend is terminal with metastatic breast cancer...spread to bones, brain, marrow, etc. We are getting hospice in and the family is pitching in. I have requested to any and all for help and meals. A few people have stepped up and not bombarding us. If anyone has advice, tips I welcome the help!

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Momsgirl12, thank you for the kind words. Today is a bad day emotionally for me. One day at a time.
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Wow. I wish I had an angel pin for you. You deserve one.

You're going to have a great deal of adapting to do. As one "problem" arises, be ready to deal with it and get it off your plate. Cook nutritious soups, stews, casseroles, chili, spaghetti sauce, etc. and use the freezer. You're liable to be busy doing other things or needing some down time to spend a lot of last-minute energy on meal prep every day.

Make a list of things you need done. When someone says, "Let me know if I can do anything to help," have something specific in mind for them right out of the gate. If someone calls to say they're coming over to visit, ask them to stop at the store if you need something to save you a trip.

Don't be shy about using all the services Hospice will offer your friend. Inquire about them, and sign her up. When you get to the point where your friend can't be left alone, ask people to relieve you for a few hours. Or use her funds to pay for respite care for yourself. Ask Hospice where you can go to get that help. They'll have plenty of resources.

Mom moved in with me about a year ago. I put her in our spare bedroom. We were using the dresser in her room. I just bought her a shelving unit from The Container Store (she paid for it), and lots of colorful baskets to put on it. Everything she needs is in those baskets with the front labeled so I know what's where. It's a pretty large shelving unit; I could easily put two people's things on it. A basket for tops; one for slacks, undies, bandages, medication, bath supplies, creams/lotions, etc., etc. I should have had it months ago.

I'm sure others will have lots of great ideas for you. The one thing I'd hope you do is to ask for help specifically when you need it. You'll soon be overwhelmed if you don't.
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