My mom has started taking feces out her depends, throwing it on the floor and walls. Complaining about her legs hurting when I try to change her, called paramedics to come get her and she had just soaked herself and had the feces on the wall and floor. That was reported. Can I refuse to let her return at the risk of losing my kids? Please help any advice at all.
Every human being deserves care but you should not be the one to do the hands on caregiving. I can’t imagine how anyone in a home setting dealing with this situation.
Wishing you peace as you navigate your way through this stressful situation.
Take Barb’s advice to you at heart! It’s perfect!
Repeat unsafe discharge as often as needed. Because the hospital will try and guilt you into taking her home.
Tell them NO! IT IS UNSAFE FOR HER TO BE DISCHARGED INTO MY HOME! HER CARE IS BEYOND MY CAPACITY! SHE NEEDS A FACILITY THAT CAN HELP HER!!!
Yes, I meant to yell. I was so frustrated with the hospital and the rehabilitation facility that tried everything to get me to take my dad home with me. Not like this is not hard enough, you have to be made to feel like crap because these idgets at the hospital don't want to do their job.
You are not required to have her in your home endangering your children's wellbeing or making your home a toxic waste dump.
Her care is beyond a home situation, she needs a facility like now. You deserve to be her daughter and not her caregiver.
Extended family doesn't get a say. This is your home and your children that she is endangering. If they don't like it they can take her to their home but, they don't get to decide for your family.
Save your sanity and that of your children.
Tell them you need what is called a 'Social Admit' for your mother because you are unwilling and unable to continue being her caregiver. Make sure they also know that you are refusing to let her back into your home to live. Do not let them talk you into allowing her back to live with you. The social worker will try to. Absolutely refuse.
The hospital will keep her there until they find a care facility that has a bed for her.
Do not accept any "we will help you make it work". Your children come first.
You must stand firm. Get angry if you need to. Hang up on them if they tell you that you "must" pick her up.
Family members who object can pound sand or take her into THEIR home.
The family members who object can either take her themselves or go pound sand.
I haven't heard 'go pound sand' in a long time. Since my father passed. Thanks for giving me a smile :)
Is this new behaviour? If so, the hospital is the place for a full medical checkup.
If not new, but becoming worse, same as above.
If this has been going on for a while, impacting yourself & the family to this degree - a new plan for her care will be needed.
From your profile, other family members don't want NH?.
They have no business deciding what YOU can do, who lives in your house, who you care for. Or when you can no longer do so.
THEY may choose to take Mother into their homes to house & care for her instead.