90-yr-old mom with dementia lives alone in her own condo, which is fully paid for. She is nearly blind, cannot drive, requires home assistance for all shopping, appointments, etc. and I must handle all bill paying and finances. My brother and I are POA for finances and health care. We have been paying for her home care aides from her savings account, which is fast dwindling to the end. Our plan (ha) had been that when her money is gone, she must move into memory care, we sell the house and fund her care from the proceeds, and apply for Medicaid when that runs out. BUT she absolutely refuses to sell or move. Period. We have consulted an elder care lawyer, who advises us that the POA does NOT confer the right for us to move her against her will under Arizona law, unless we have her declared incompetent and assume guardianship. Neither of us is able or willing to do that (we live thousands of miles away). I'm getting close to the point where I want to resign the POA and let the state step in and do what they will do. Mom's dementia is rapidly worsening and her only recourse is to simply refuse to do anything we ask or suggest, and tell everyone around her how horrible we are. I just don't see what else can be done with this nightmare. She just says she wants to die, end of discussion. Her geriatric neuro doc is useless. I feel helpless...
Seems to me if this is the law in Arizona it makes it difficult for a POA to make decisions.
You stepping back from being POA might be the best thing to do. Your brother can do this as well.
Then this is what you do.
If you aren't willing to take her to a different doctor for a diagnosis or pursue guardianship then you don't really have any other options.
That isn't how any of this works.
If you are not willing to have her declared incompetent if she IS incompetent then resigning your POA now is abandoning the person you have a FIDUCIARY RESPONSIBILITY under the law to represent. Did the attorney not tell you that?
This comes down to whether or not mom is competent under the law. Without examining MDs you cannot ascertain that. Please take the trip you now must take as her POA and have your Mother examined.
There are only two options here.
1. She is competent and you can resign
or
2. She is incompetent and you need to act in her behalf.
You have seen an attorney and your note to us indicates you already know all of this.
Your plan is a good one and it is time for this move. Make certain the MC facility will allow her to stay on Medicaid. Many will not.