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Everythings been sold or cashed in. She requires 24/7 care because of mobility but also has dementia. The private caregiving situation is getting harder to maintain, an agency is now providing 2 days of care. Her annual physical for Medicare is coming up. There is only 1 NH my brother & I want her in, it’s a very desirable place so it can be difficult to get in. It’s also close enough for us to visit very often. My mom knows this is coming & isn’t happy about it but there’s no choice. My thinking is we should get her paperwork submitted when she has her physical. The Dr. has no prob with this & I do have POA. A physical has to be given at the time the Dr. completes the NH paperwork. I’m afraid if we don’t submit paperwork now, Mom will REFUSE to go back to the Dr. for another physical in a few months or at least refuse the TB test. She's still aware enough to know what’s going on! It could end up the NH has a bed open immediately, or it could take months. I think it’s best to start the proceedings now, especially since I’m not in a high population area & the other NH close by has a terrible reputation (my grandmother was in it). If we end up with a NH 45 minutes away I can’t keep a good eye on Mom as I still have a homeschooled child at home. Am I right in proceeding now? I also have questions about applying for Medicaid & will post those separately. (Sorry so long!)

Visit with an elder law attorney in your area. You may be able to save some resources.
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Reply to WinbladLaw
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mollymoose Jan 3, 2019
We did consult an attorney. Now out of a couple of thousand, service never rendered, stopped answering phone. I now totally understand jokes about attorneys. Advertising on helpful sites & boards does not mean a thing. When we get mom settled somewhere we will file a complaint with our state bar association.

We are not trying nor do we want mom’s money for ourselves. Simply help geeting questions answered & Medicaid approval.
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Start the process now. It takes a long time to get the paperwork ready to apply, waiting for bank statements etc. You can go online to see what you’ll need. Then after the meeting with the Medicaid office and turned it all in, Moms approval took about 5 months to process, and it was pretty straight forward. She entered her NH in a Medicaid Pending status. It was not my first choice facility, which had very limited Medicaid beds, and after 6 months on their waiting list, I couldn’t wait any longer and had to take 2nd choice. But first, make sure you talk to your facility of choice and see if they take Medicaid and Medicare Pending admission. Do the same with your 2nd and 3rd choices just in case.
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Reply to rocketjcat
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My greatest regrets in my current care giving situation are almost exclusively using a “wait and see” approach rather than proactively moving forward.
Especially with her physician’s input, I’d absolutely move ahead, and I can’t think of any persuasive reason not to.
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Reply to AnnReid
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Yes you definitely need to start the process NOW since it sounds like she will be going on Medicaid.
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Reply to worriedinCali
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If your mom has no significant income or resources, you'll have to apply for Medicaid NOW! Plus, the NH you're wanting her in will have to ACCEPT Medicaid patients; have you checked into that? Medicaid will do a 5 year look-back on finances to determine if she's hiding assets or if assets have been transferred to other family members. It takes quite a while for the government to process these claims, as I'm sure you know. There are agencies that can help you apply for Medicaid and assist you with the paperwork nightmare. You can always contact an Elder Care Attorney for a free consultation and some great advice. The attorney I contacted gave me the resource info to get my folks approved for VA benefits and he had tons of other useful info as well.

Definitely submit the paperwork right away since you know she'll be requiring NH care and who knows how long the wait will wind up being? The NHs all do 'intake evaluations' before they move in anyway, but it's best to line up ALL of your ducks in a row NOW!

I wish you good luck & godspeed, my friend. It's never easy to deal with the emotional, financial, and physical demands of care giving for our elderly loved ones.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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mollymoose Jan 2, 2019
She has too much money to apply for Medicaid right now. An attorney told us it typically takes 3 months to get Medicaid approval, so I’ve told mom that xxxxx amount of dollars can only be spent on NH during those 3 months. I’ve also budgeted money to pay an elder care attorney to do that paperwork. Speaking of which I also have to find a new elder care attorney.

But it more on that in another post later. I’m trying to get my little ducks in a row on the NH & paperwork first.

Right now I REALLY needed to hear that it’s time to start this process to help overshadow the voices of “I just want her in the NH” & “what about all the money she’s still got”.
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