I only heard today that my brother is coming, but he hasn't told me or said anything to me. He hasn't talked to me, mom or anyone in family for about the past two years. The funeral director told me my brother called him about the service twice so that leads me to believe he has full intention on coming.
I already spoke to my pastor to please address the group and tell them not to talk to me about family at the memorial as I keep getting bitter remarks, astonishment that family isn't coming, etc. and then they proceed to share their own family bitterness. I don't want this to taint the atmosphere....so, I am heading all that off at the pass, by cutting it off in the beginning of service by having the pastor address this and instead of focusing on family, to turn all the attention to mom. I feel peace about this, but my concern is brother showing up. Since he still has no apparent need to talk to me, I am concerned about his appearance and possibly a desire to publicly shame, humiliate mom and me in underhanded ways....with biting sarcasm, schmoozing, etc. I am thinking it might be best to distance myself from him totally at memorial, with only a brief hello. Feedback? cadams