Oh boy. Everyone's jumping to conclusions and blowing things out of proportion. I believe that said caregiver is not a danger for anyone's safety, is not carrying firearms, and there is no reason to worry about OP mother's safety unless she informs us otherwise. There is no need for calling sheriff either. No one's attacking anyone, consequently there's no need for overreacting. Unless we know otherwise, which we don't as of this minute.
The caregiver is being kicked out in the street on a very short notice, while prior to that, she lived in the house, and received mail at this address. Whether or not she paid rent and/or utilities is unimportant. Apparently there was some sort of an agreement, albeit not in writing, so now it's words against words. I only hope that in the future, there will be some sort of a written agreement. I have no doubt that the pattern with the OP's mother will continue.
Whether the caregiver was an implied tenant or an employee, she should be given a reasonable notice or else a compensation if you will. Her pay was not a compensation; this is what she earned. A notice of employment termination is something else. While I understand the family situation, a 2 week notice of employment termination or else a one month notice of living arrangements termination would be sufficient. I bet she has a good chance of winning in a court, so why not resolve this peacefully? Hmmm
Let me ask you this. What happens if all of a sudden the mother wants her daughter (OP) out? I bet you wouldn't advise her all of the extreme measures then. Would you?
I would like to know why Jacobs who is the person that posted this question hasn't made any more comments other than the original question. Everyone here has been left to speculate because we have not been given enough information. Why aren't some of our questions being answered like "why was the caregiver fired"? The more information we have the more advice/help can be given.
mejia89 I find your comment "you're not dealing with white collar professional people. They have a different mind-set" very offensive! I may not be a "white collar professional" but I consider myself a "professional" caregiver! I am a student with one semester left before I obtain my degree in Human Services. What exactly do you mean by "they are of a different mind-set?" Very insulting to all Caregivers! Us Caregivers do do the work that family members won't do, they find it beneath them, yet we don't insult them. Next time you post your opinions, choose your words carefully!
Okay, what do we know about this situation. From the very brief profile, we know city and state and that the condition is dementia.
What DON'T we know: is there a contract? if so, what does it read? did the caregiver breach the contract in any way? why was the caregiver fired? dementia doesn't necessarily mean incompetent, is mom and competent? how old is mom? does mom live alone with the caregiver? has the caregiver been negligent in your moms care? has the caregiver done anything threatening to you or your mom? has the caregiver stolen anything from you or your mom?
Jacobs - you posted your original question for days ago. We can see you are in distress and that you have a problem and you are here for support and guidance. But you have neither given us enough information nor answer any questions or provided follow up. We don't know what's going on with you and your mom and supposedly urgent situation from 4 days ago. I'm not even going to address our members speculation with one another. We're here to help, but without your participation, I for one feel this is a waste of my time.
And donnarae, I am almost 68, have been an unpaid family caregiver, have had help from paid people, and I agree with you did there is some bias an insult in some of mejia's words and that s/he would you better to focus his or her thoughts a little better before posting.
Get the police. They will help you with this. They help when unwelcome people refuse to move that have no right to be there. Then, get restraining order.
@donnarae - kudos to you for pursuing your degree. However, the caregiver in question who lots of people jump to conclusions about, is likely a nursing assistant or a home care aide. They don't have much of an education, they do not have a degree but only a certificate, their pay is considerably less than yours will ever be, with a degree. When you obtain your degree, you likely won't be working as a home care aide. In fact, you are not going to do much of a direct patient care at all.
I am a former nursing assistant, now on disability & retired, and I am NOT offended by mejia89's posting. She has made a bold attempt to stand up for the caregiver in question, and you proceeded to tell us about your degree that has completely nothing to do with the subject at hand. Both nursing assistants & home care aides take lots of abuse from the patients on a nearly daily basis. Ditto for the false accusations, which is what is happening here IMO. We don't know the details, yet most everyone jumped to the conclusions, and pitches in with the advices such as calling the sheriff, obtaining a restraining order, etc etc. Get all worked up.
For all we know, the situation might have resolved peacefully at this time. Yet most everyone gets all worked up and offended.
@carollynn: I think that most of the posters on this thread are biased without knowing the details. You and donnarae are no exception. Likely the situation has already been taken care of.
@mejia89: thank you for the kind words. You are one of only a few on this thread who is able to see through this unfortunate situation. Hi 5.
I find all of the talk about university degrees and "white collar professionals" laughable. First of all even if a nurse that has a masters degree is still not white collar. Secondly, there is NO degree that prepares a caregiver for what they have to face when they live with a client 24/7, the knowledge comes from practice. Degrees are academic .. life is not academic. I have dealt with physicians who admittedly do not have a clue about the non medical aspects of geriatric care. Getting back to the original comment/question on this thread, it IS possible that the caregiver was caught stealing or doing something unacceptable, we do not know because the person that posted this comment refuses to elaborate on the situation. It is not necessary for people to throw condescending terms around about degrees and status because there is a huge difference between being academically educated and being smart. Trust me, many (not all) of the academics I have known ..are vacant.
If it is a friendly "we don't need you any more" - - ask if he/ she needs help finding a new place. If the person has lived there a long time, this could be traumatic and hard for the person. Have an open talk - perhaps - about what their options are, what steps are they taking, etc.
I agree with the person who said to talk it through. The person may just need some time to get a new place lined up and is afraid to admit they don't have a plan quite yet.
Garage door opener and keys - these can be re-coded and new tumblers in the locks taking a new key. Do this only with approval from police, sheriff, or court. You may find that as long as you "store" their items ON THE SAME PROPERTY, you can change locks, etc. ( I went through this with an 'ex' years ago and was told to keep his items on the same property, even though he left the country. It has a happy ending almost a year later, ended friendly, and he got all his stuff back to start a new home. Respect for people and people's things goes a long way.)
Consult a lawyer - you can get a lot of "free" info in the 30 minutes of free time through lawyer referral. Talk to several if need be.
You didn't state "why' the person is fired exactly. If it is for an illegal action, then the police could be helpful if you press charges. If it is a civil matter, it could take awhile. Stay on it - and find out what the "squatter's rights" are in your state.
My grandmother's niece has been give guardianship and conservatorship over her. Can she just tell me to leave in twenty days when I have been here over 3 months caring for her and her brother , who is blind?
Sounds like she can tell you, but are you sure that is her intention? If you've been there 3 months, maybe you are pretty good at it by now - which is still a benefit to the family. The niece may have guardianship, but she may not want to live with here grandmother. You may just need to consider that you have a new boss, and be alert to any changes this person wants to make.
Jacobs, what was the final outcome with the situation with the Caregiver since it was a year ago when you first posted. Hope everything is ok as we never heard back from you since your initial original post.
The caregiver is being kicked out in the street on a very short notice, while prior to that, she lived in the house, and received mail at this address. Whether or not she paid rent and/or utilities is unimportant. Apparently there was some sort of an agreement, albeit not in writing, so now it's words against words. I only hope that in the future, there will be some sort of a written agreement. I have no doubt that the pattern with the OP's mother will continue.
Whether the caregiver was an implied tenant or an employee, she should be given a reasonable notice or else a compensation if you will. Her pay was not a compensation; this is what she earned. A notice of employment termination is something else. While I understand the family situation, a 2 week notice of employment termination or else a one month notice of living arrangements termination would be sufficient. I bet she has a good chance of winning in a court, so why not resolve this peacefully? Hmmm
Let me ask you this. What happens if all of a sudden the mother wants her daughter (OP) out? I bet you wouldn't advise her all of the extreme measures then. Would you?
What DON'T we know: is there a contract? if so, what does it read? did the caregiver breach the contract in any way? why was the caregiver fired? dementia doesn't necessarily mean incompetent, is mom and competent? how old is mom? does mom live alone with the caregiver? has the caregiver been negligent in your moms care? has the caregiver done anything threatening to you or your mom? has the caregiver stolen anything from you or your mom?
Jacobs - you posted your original question for days ago. We can see you are in distress and that you have a problem and you are here for support and guidance. But you have neither given us enough information nor answer any questions or provided follow up. We don't know what's going on with you and your mom and supposedly urgent situation from 4 days ago. I'm not even going to address our members speculation with one another. We're here to help, but without your participation, I for one feel this is a waste of my time.
I am a former nursing assistant, now on disability & retired, and I am NOT offended by mejia89's posting. She has made a bold attempt to stand up for the caregiver in question, and you proceeded to tell us about your degree that has completely nothing to do with the subject at hand. Both nursing assistants & home care aides take lots of abuse from the patients on a nearly daily basis. Ditto for the false accusations, which is what is happening here IMO. We don't know the details, yet most everyone jumped to the conclusions, and pitches in with the advices such as calling the sheriff, obtaining a restraining order, etc etc. Get all worked up.
For all we know, the situation might have resolved peacefully at this time. Yet most everyone gets all worked up and offended.
@carollynn: I think that most of the posters on this thread are biased without knowing the details. You and donnarae are no exception. Likely the situation has already been taken care of.
@mejia89: thank you for the kind words. You are one of only a few on this thread who is able to see through this unfortunate situation. Hi 5.
Getting back to the original comment/question on this thread, it IS possible that the caregiver was caught stealing or doing something unacceptable, we do not know because the person that posted this comment refuses to elaborate on the situation. It is not necessary for people to throw condescending terms around about degrees and status because there is a huge difference between being academically educated and being smart. Trust me, many (not all) of the academics I have known ..are vacant.
I agree with the person who said to talk it through. The person may just need some time to get a new place lined up and is afraid to admit they don't have a plan quite yet.
Garage door opener and keys - these can be re-coded and new tumblers in the locks taking a new key. Do this only with approval from police, sheriff, or court.
You may find that as long as you "store" their items ON THE SAME PROPERTY, you can change locks, etc. ( I went through this with an 'ex' years ago and was told to keep his items on the same property, even though he left the country. It has a happy ending almost a year later, ended friendly, and he got all his stuff back to start a new home. Respect for people and people's things goes a long way.)
Consult a lawyer - you can get a lot of "free" info in the 30 minutes of free time through lawyer referral. Talk to several if need be.
You didn't state "why' the person is fired exactly. If it is for an illegal action, then the police could be helpful if you press charges. If it is a civil matter, it could take awhile. Stay on it - and find out what the "squatter's rights" are in your state.