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She is frail but not demented. I am her only daughter, and her boyfriend doesn't like me. I've called Adult Protective Services on him before and they opened a case on him, but she chooses him over me. He periodically punishes her by stonewalling and hiding her keys, turning off her computer monitor, not giving her messages. She doesn't care, she is grateful that he is there. I feel like she will die one of these times after a week or so in the hospital and I won't know until after she is dead. He tells her nasty things about me, and she believes him... She is so stupid. I don't want to let him get away with this, but what can I do... she has memory problems due to a stroke, but she isn't demented.

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If she ends up in the hospital and there are billing issues, and BF does not have POA either,, you will most likely hear...LOL. At least that she is IN the hospital,, they will want insurance info and money! Of course some states will consider him her hubs depending on how long they have lived together.. Try to get POA if you can.
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April, I was taken aback by one thing you said about your Mom... "She is so stupid." I rest my case as to why there is a lack of communication.
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What you need is POA and HCPOA for your mother. With out this you legally can not do anything. Due to HIPPA laws your mother or doctors do not have to share any information with you. The biggest question is are you going to be mothers caregiver ? Taking care of someone can literally drain you emotionally and physically. If your mother chooses boyfriend over you and is mentally competent not much you can do.
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IF your mom is compis mentis, she is free to choose this abusive loser.

However, she may be mentally ill and/or have vascular dementia. Reporting her living conditions to APS is your best bet.

Don't think that her behavior towards you is going to change. I'm sorry you've never had an adequate mother.
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