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I already have Nurse on call in-home because my mother needs more care than what we can provide for her. Discussed Memory Care Facility but step father can't let go. Chronic suffering within household due to emotional and stress related levels of care and his unwilling ability to provide food and hydration during the course of the day while I work. I'm unable to quit work to care for her/them. He is medically fragile himself. I don't feel my Step-Father is my responsibility but he's made it clear "where he goes she goes". Mom's condition has worsened since Nov. 2014. We contacted the State Program and did the assessment for both of them to get them on a waiting list and to start receiving additional services in home while I work. It's been 2 weeks now and still haven't seen the first person to evaluate them and start services that I selected for them. Companionships, Respite and Emergency call button. Trying to get Mom Medicaid to help with funding for a Memory Care Facility because she doesn't make enough monies nor does he. I feel no matter what I bring to the table my Step Father will knock it down. He's not ready to let go but It's about safety being healthy and most important "quality of life".

My relationship with my Step Father is and has been unfavorable over the years due to multiple issues. It was very hard letting him into our home, but again if I want my Mother with me I take him too.

My concern now is how to over ride his POA for my Mother. For when the time comes that she can be placed in a suitable Facility that may or may not be accompanied by her husband?

Hope you have some answers or advise to offer.

Bottom line; my mother needs the help and support of professional medical persons in this time of her life. It's much more than I can endure.
My Step-Father needs to go live with his brother so she can get the care she so deserves.

Thank you, Cindy

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I meant to say "does NOT sound competent "
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The only ways I see out of this are 1. You could seek guardianship of your mom. 2. You could try to get APS to step in and assess her as unsafe with the care she is getting. Would step dad listen to her doctor? Could you pursue an evaluation for him? He does sound competent on the face of things.
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Very rarely will someone find an elderly person who will, on their own, say it is time to move to a safer place. Parents don't want to admit defeat as that means MORE of their independence will be taken away.

Don't forget we are still "the children" and what do we know... [sigh].

As long as your step-father is of clear mind you cannot over-ride the Power of Attorney for your mother. Is your name on your Mom's Power of Attorney as second in line in case your step-father can no longer communicate and make his wishes known as what should be done for your mother?
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