My Mom's incontinent. How do I help her?

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She doesn't realize how bad the used diapers smell and thinks nothing of letting them pile up in the bathroom waste basket. I bought her a diaper pail that is similar to the ones made for baby diapers but she wasn't using it. When I asked why, she said that she needed to get used to it. I showed her again how to use it, but once more she had another excuse as to why she wasn't using it--this time it was because the plastic bag inside was being wasted because it took a lot of product to make the knot to tie the bag up. It's one silly excuse after another that she comes up with to continue with her "ways" which she insists had been fine for her all along (my husband and I moved in with her to help her financially, with her house and to make sure she was eating). I had to be dreadfully honest with her about the smell in the house that was part caused by her and her dog. She didn't take that easily and is still in denial and says that my nose is over sensitive. Her solution is that I get some plug in fresheners. I've taken care of the odor caused by her dog. But I just can't get through to her that adult urine smells much worse than a baby's. I know her sense of smell had diminished, however she does not think that is so. I recently had a blow up about this issue with her--again. I don't know what to do. Things will be OK for a while, but then she reverts to stock piling used diapers in the bathroom. It was equally as hard to tell her that she needed to change her diapers more frequently than two or three times a day. I just want to scream, cry, both! She does not have dementia, so I don't know what to think. The bathroom she uses is the main one, thankfully my husband and I have a small bathroom upstairs to use, otherwise it would be h*** to deal with just the one. She gets upset if I clean "her" bathroom, too. I told her that no one wanted to visit with her because the house and furniture smelled so bad. The bathroom seems to remain to be one of the last hurdles left to conquer. I don't know if can. Does anyone have any suggestions or words of wisdom?

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My Mom. Does that (but ties it in a bag). She is in the hospital right now, dying. Let it go. It isn't important in the long run.
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Who the heck is telling you she doesn't have dementia? She has dementia. Get her to a geriatric neurologist or someone with actual qualifications in the area of gerontology. These are classic symptoms.
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Anybody who stockpiles dirty diapers has dementia. She does have dementia. It will not get better, it will get worse. She can't smell it. Smell and taste loss is part of the brain not working. Needing a diaper is part of dementia, potty training is a learned skill and she no longer has it. Needing prompting to eat is dementia. Not letting the dog out is dementia. So talk to her MD about dementia and how to handle it.
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