My 97 year old mother is in Independent Living with some assistance. I spend one afternoon a week with her. She has had several strokes, which she calls TIAs, and is mobile with a walker, but has bladder incontinence and some bowel, as well, and uses protective underwear. She should be drinking water and other liquids, but avoids them, because they increase her urinary output. She also claims that water gives her diarrhea, which pretty clearly is from other reasons. I think she feels she has a bit of control if she doesn't have fluids, and she won't acknowledge that dehydration could bring on another stroke, in spite of medical advice. Should I just give her the freedom to choose how she wants to live (or die)? She is pretty rational, lucid and active for her age, though her stamina is understandably low. My sister and I are perplexed over whether we should let her live life on her own terms (she's pretty happy) or constantly try to get her to do what we and other authorities think is best for her. When we discuss topics like this with her, she understands and seems agreeable to some changes, but in practice, she does it "her way". We are starting to feel that this is a quality of life issue and we should stop badgering her--lovingly--and let her live her own choices, even though we find this worrisome and frustrating. She is not being neglected in any way, but she is not supervised in her living situation, so she can do as she pleases.