Mom's in the rehab facility now and wants to go home. It's not safe. What do I do? - AgingCare.com

Mom's in the rehab facility now and wants to go home. It's not safe. What do I do?

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My Mom had a bad fall and needed surgery. She is going to be in a wheelchair for at least 4 months then crutches and walker. The home will not accommodate a wheelchair and the only full bathroom is up stairs. She was not steady on her feet before this awful fall.

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Pamz I was addressing this to one particular comment I seen and was trying to give that particular comment an enlightenment of dementia. The particular comment did not make any sense to what was originally asked, that particular person who commented didn't catch on. So now I understand why they commented the way they did.
That person keeps commenting on questions that I give my opinion on and they are now being help they are speaking nonsense, that's all. Lol
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I would explain to her that until the doctor gives her the approval to go "home" (not the rehab place she is in), she needs to be in the rehab facility until she is good enough. So tell her that she needs to listen, do what the rehab people say so she can get better.
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People have been taking care of loved ones for FREE for years. Now they can be paid a stipend, get training and 24 hour support by a group of professionals if needed. It doesn't work for everyone but it does work for some. mary111 how is your post helpful?
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"What state do you live in? Several states can now pay family members or friends to provide service if the person lives with you. The average reimbursement / stipend is $1000 a month, tax-free."

So family and friends will stay with a woman that likely needs 24 hr. care for at least 2 months for $1,000/month split between them? 24 hr care x 7 days x 4 weks is 672 hrs/month divided by $1,000 is $1.49/hr. And this is assuming the woman is easy going and willing to listen to her care providers---which she clearly isn't as she wants to go home to an unsafe environment? Why not transfer her to a rehab facility temporarily where the gov. will pay 100% for her stay? Trust me, this is a bad idea. It's nice that friends and family are willing to "help"--but these situations almost never work out because friends and family don't have the skills and training for these jobs and do not realize the work load physically and mentally. This is not just "minding grandma". That is why they burn out and place family in homes in the first place. Good luck, though.
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What state do you live in? Several states can now pay family members or friends to provide service if the person lives with you. The average reimbursement / stipend is $1000 a month, tax-free.
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Do you have POA? The reason I ask is this happened to a 78 yr. old neighbor. The family did not have medical or financial POA, so after the hospital he refused to go to a rehab but instead called an agency to provide him 24 hr home care. Sounds great right? Not for $350/day and the fact that he has no downstairs bathroom, no wheelchair ramp and the house is not wheelchair friendly. It is A MESS. AN ACCIDENT WAITING TO HAPPEN. PLEASE TRY TO GET HER DISCHARGED TO A REHAB. INSIST HELP WITH A SOCIAL WORKER!!!!
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Sweet.. I have reread the Op post, and the answers.. and nowhere do I see that the patient has dementia.. I am confused by your post. I got the impression she is possibly just "contrary". and do you mean the dementia pt always "thinks" they are right? Because my dad and my MIL always think they are right,, but believe me they are NOT !! LOL
My MIL loved her rehab and did not want to come home even when she was well able too... and now FIL was in rehab and could not wait to come home. Both fall alot, wont listen to useing walker/cane.. avoid stairs... more falls.
Tree, if it is not doable.. don;t do it.. for your sanity and thier health. Let social workers and professions talk to her, and just say no!
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I see a few here need to read up and understand DEMENTIA. Some people need to understand that's it not denial A Dementia individual is always right whether we like it or can't handle it or nor. Some people need to research before trying to give someone else advice. I have been working in the healthcare field and with the dementia for over 15 years
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You could try getting an OT pre-home eval and they might be able to make it safer. But yes, let me echo and amplify everyone else on here - just because a person says they want something, if it is not right and not safe, you do not have to agree to go along with it, though you may decide to do so albeit under protest if they have the wherewithal to insist on getting it anyway.
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Please tell them that she is very much unhealthy to return home. If she is in the rehab section of an NH, she then should be transferred to the long-term care unit of said NH.
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