My Mom's in a nursing home.I don't want to visit my mother in the nursing home. She was placed at a very nice rehab facility after a recent bout (we've had multiple bouts of this illness pattern) of pneumonia, UTI, conjunctivitis, congestive heart failure, atrial fib etc. She experienced delirium for about 4 days while in the hospital and she needed to have a nurse sit with her 24/7. She has vascular dementia (small vessel disease). She is belligerent. She is manipulative. She lies, i.e., lies about her finances, lies about her health issues etc. I have POA, but I keep uncovering more financial disasters, unpaid accounts etc. She then starts to whine and tells me what horrible care she is receiving. I'm a horrible son and she should have left me to die on the sidewalk when I was born. She can't walk without assistance. She urinates and defecates in her clothes. She defecates in the shower - when the facility insists that she get cleaned up. She refuses basic grooming assistance. I've paid for the hair styling, but she says the hair stylist never showed up, whereas I find out she threw the stylist out of her room. She then becomes very child-like and starts the "I'll be in here forever; I'll just wither up and die." I am working on her medicare spend down, irrevocable trust for funeral arrangements, a guardianship. The nursing home invoked her health care proxy with the following open-ended dates - vascular dementia, personality disorder, mood disorder, alzheimers disease. At this time, I just DO NOT want to visit her and go through the same series of complaints and whining. Any input into this? I don't mean to appear harsh, but my visits are nightmarish and no matter how I try to turn the conversation into a positive interaction, it gets us back to the above - or - the assassination of the Russian Tzars at the onset of the Russian Revolution. Any insight?