My Mom's husband won't stop the sexual advances when she is sick she confided in me. What should I do?

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My Mom confided in me that her husband is persistent in sexual activities he pressures her to masturbate him she was very upset and crying! Taking her to doctor's but every-time I take her she downplays everything!

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Erm I havent read everything (just being honest) but it seems to me this needs to be formally reported. If he is making unwanted advances and especially if he is insisting on sexual activity when she is ill (aka vulnerable) then this is a clear situation of abuse the guidelines are very clear here and there is a duty to report if SUSPECTED check you local guidelines on reporting abuse. You may not WANT to but I think in some states it is a LEGAL REQUIREMENT that you do.

Consider this - if you BELIEVE a child was being abused sexually by another person you would report it immediately? right? It is no different when someone is too ill to say no or too frightened to say no. If you look up my response to terrified on abuse you will see what the guidleines for Georgia say
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LoveLucy, vaginal bleeding post menopause is a serious danger sign...well, you probably know that - I hope you can get her in to have it checked out.
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I find it interesting how our own experiences and preconceptions have played out in this discussion. As others have pointed sexual intimacy can and should still be part of a marriage into very old age if both find satisfaction from it. However when a woman reaches out for help she needs to be taken seriously, whether she is young and single or old and married. When one partner forces unwanted attention on the other, especially if causing physical pain, they are either a bully and probably always have been, or are suffering from cognitive decline and can't understand that it is inappropriate. Either way I think that the solution is to deny the aggressor the opportunity to harass their partner. They may need separate bedrooms at home with a lock on the door, or they may need to live apart. No amount of logic will influence either a bully or someone with dementia.
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You need to visit the Doctor with your mother together and talk the situation out.
On having sex the older some people get the more some enjoy making Love
But it must be a two way win win and it sounds as if your mother is being abused.
Bless You
Kevin
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You think you have a problem, my parents are 88 and my Father still expects my Mother to have sex with him 3 times a week..She told me that she was bleeding down there last week and wanted to see the Doctor..He is so controlling My Mother gave me her Power of Attorney so that I can front him about it..he just laughed at me and said "she is my wife" and I will do want I want..
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I'm an only child BTW. :-)

Seriously. Mom kept a box of Norforms and somehow I don't think that by itself would have stopped any brothers or sisters from coming along otherwise. I now that's TMI, but there it is, I'm needing to vent today I guess!
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Wow. My mom was very cold to my dad sexually, which is sad, and later on she actually accused him of being abusive towards her (non-sexually) but actually yelled at HIM pretty much full time. She had some kind of a barrier to expressing physical affection or even saying "I love you" and was actually somewhat scornful of people who did a lot of that. It is hard to know which person has the greater problem going on, but if the concern is expressed you are right to raise it to the attention of people who could help sort it out, bearing in mind there are two sides of the story.
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I would make sure You went to your mothers doctor appointment and explain the situation to the doctor. Even if doctor is male he surely would be supportive.
No the Doctor won't think you have made it up.
Best Wishes
Kevin
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I agree, Jeanne. I'm sympathetic to the feelings of a child who's having to cope with the very concept of her parent ever having had an s.e.x. life (eeuw!), let alone a new one with someone who isn't her father; but the right kind of intimacy is not only a key part of marriage, it's potentially beneficial to Overwhelm's mother's own quality of life too. So absolutely - the focus needs to be on achieving that right kind of intimacy, rather than chasing the stepdad away with a horsewhip.

Not that that's easy, alas. I'm glad the professionals are on board now, too.
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Her husband "forgets" his promise to stop sexual touching? Does he have cognitive impairment of some kind? What is his health status.

Let me ask you this, and please consider it carefully: If this were your mother and father instead of your mother and her husband, would your attitude be any different?

I am really saddened that nearly everyone reacts as if the husband is a "dirty old man" and the villain. The villain here is the disease! Parkinson's often diminishes the sex drive. If the husband has some cognitive issues too, that is a factor.

There will be an outreach nurse visit. That sounds good. But I still say that the couple should visit a therapist TOGETHER, so they both get the same messages about the changes their health will have on their intimate life.
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