Mom has been having episodes of fecal incontinence and refuses "diapers." Ideas?

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Mom has multi-infarct dementia. Just went into AL. She is a proud Italian immigrant. Health is good. Regular health services w/ experienced geriatrician. The only of four kids in healthcare lives out of town. Siblings close by have not taken any advice. How can we help her more yet preserving her dignity. Her deficits are lack of short term memory and lack of initiation. She is social but only fifth grade education. What are some of the best products, tactics to get her to wear more protective garments? Are we missing something?

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Tena makes a washcloth specifically for those that need them. They are much larger in size than a baby wipe,
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OH, and order some baby butt wipes too.
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Sorry joe, but you do have to take away her underwear and leave her with the pullups only, Depends or Prevail or Tena. I have a case of them shipped to mom every month so she won't run out.
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This is a question I asked some time ago, and if you type "how do I get my mother-in-law to wear depends" in the search site there are loads of good suggestions. Long story short, my mil in AL has bowel accidents on occasion, and the staff asked our permission to toss her regular underwear and substitute depends, or what they call "pullups", if the need arises. Evidently this is what they do when residents are resistant to wearing depends-- give them no choice in the matter. So "gladimhere's" suggestion is a good one. My mil's concern was that depends make her look fat --not true--I bought the pricey slim type. Additionally, she is not allowed to go on outings unless she is wearing the pull-ups. Her dr. tweaked her meds, so right now she seems to be doing a bit better, but tossing her underwear is still an option. Wearing depends is not as humiliating as having a bm accident!
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I took away my mothers choice in undergarments about a year ago. She was having accidents occasionally, but what a mess! So I purchased depends and removed her regular underwear completely. What I first did it she was confused and wondered if the depends were her underpants. I told her yes, no other explanation. I understand that the discussion to remove them would be humiliating, and with the lack of ability to reason this out adds an additional difficulty. My suggestion is to replace her underwear completely. Do not offer an option, depends or underwear. My mom does not know the difference now. My hesitation for not doing this sooner I think was MY ISSUE that I did not want to see my mom reach this stage. The longer I would have waited, the more difficult it would have become.
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I am starting to have the same issue. Mom is too proud to wear a diaper at this time. But I did find that dawn dishwashing liquid works better than shout!!
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