Follow
Share

My cousins spent 8 months convincing my mom and me that they would take over her guardianship and bring peace to the family after 2 years of complete chaos with 4 of my siblings. I live with her, cared for her for 2 years, 24 hours a day, never stole, abused or failed to get her medical treatment, confirmed by her doctors, court evaluator, APS, court nurse. Cousins took over after I was assaulted by a sister, resulting in broken bones.


Cousins lied to mom and me, they immediately separated us, hired a live in that is not only unqualified, but that my mom dislikes. She lets mom stay in bed all day. They wired house with video/audio. Several instances of siblings screaming at me, directly at MOM, nothing ever done. Mom needed pacemaker, while in hospital, guardians, along with one sister, retaliated getting false Order Of Protections against me, behind mom’s back. Attempting to evict. Guardians offered me cash in exchange for not seeing mom, I refused. Offered me lower rent if I agreed to only be with mom under video, I refused. They are now evicting me. They got rid of her car but failed to tell her, she refused to get rid of it. They are now threatening another sister with OOP if she speaks to or about me to mom, tries to visit mom. How can they do this! I have videos, audio tapes, emails. I’ve called in APS. I have zero to hide, my mother and I wanted to remain together, she has no idea what they’ve done.
I'm disabled. My 24 year old daughter has cancer for the second time. They’ve slandered me to every neighbor, cousin, friend. They have isolated me, I’m not over the assault and this man tried multiple times to get me to drop charges against sister who broke my ankle, my refusal has lead to this, as well as my emotionally unstable, greedy siblings. What can I do to save my mom, to see her again, to let her know I love her and didn’t abandon her?

I’m so sorry. Sounds like a hellish nightmare!
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to NeedHelpWithMom
Report

You can request a court hearing to contest the OOP.

Call the court that issued the order and they will explain what you need to do to make that happen.

Sometimes you get a lovely understanding person and they can get you an earlier court date.

Address each of these issues independently and in the order of importance.

I would also request a hearing with the guardian and the court so he can explain why he is doing what he is doing.

I would recommend hiring an attorney if you can. Simplifies a lot of the issues. Maybe call your state bar and get a list of attorneys who offer discount fees.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Isthisrealyreal
Report
Vikky830 Oct 11, 2019
I can’t afford a lawyer and have been working night and day to try to get legal aid with no results yet. However, I think I can file an “order to show cause” on my own which would bring this to the judges attention (Supreme court judge that is). Would you be aware of any other motions or some way I could appeal to the courts?
(0)
Report
See 5 more replies
I’m so sorry that you are going through this pain. Have you spoken to an attorney about everything you have been through and your mom’s desires?
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to NeedHelpWithMom
Report
Vikky830 Oct 11, 2019
I’ll get a court appointed attorney on 10/16 for the OOP hearing, her court appointed attorney gave up months back. My siblings had her accounts frozen 2 years ago, she was billed $40,000 in court costs and for THEIR attorney, and she gets a court appointed who’s not only overwhelmed but literally can’t deal with my sisters. This is what I don’t get, not one person, not one clerk, lawyer, evaluator, doctor, AOS worker, no one was able to deal with my sisters and the rumor was the judge and employees at the courthouse dreaded and feared them. They don’t stop, it’s insanity, yet they subject my poor mother to them, and when all 3 are in the same room...Lord, it’s literally unbearable. If they perceive someone as a threat, if someone is nice to me, they don’t even attempt to be civil and people get either unnerved or think man, I don’t need to deal with this and push them out as fast as they can. When my mom is gone (May that be a long time from now), I’ll never look back and will maybe be able to begin to heal.
(0)
Report
You say that the assault resulted in broken bones. Were charges filed about this assault in a court of law?
You say the cousins have won guardianship due to "chaos" among 4 siblings by your own account. Is this court appointed guardianship? If so, then you do not have a lot of recourse. Fighting this would not only be enormously expensive, but it would also not get you far. Were you there during this court appointed guardianship hearing?
If the cousins have guardianship they will have a fiduciary responsibility to report to the court in the manner requested by that court. They will likely have POA to sell a home that belongs to your elder, funds to be used in her interest for her care. If that is so they will ask that you vacate the premises. If you do not do this they will likely file for eviction.
An order of protection starts out normally as "temporary". Is this the case with yours? If so, you will want to be represented by a lawyer when they refile for a more long OOP. Do not ignore any hearings as you do so at your own peril, and will lose any right of representation.
You say that there are four siblings and there has been "chaos." If this is the case I am relieved that cousins now have Court Appointed guardianship and that they are getting orders of protection against any and all who again bring chaos into the household and into the life of a helpless elder. I agree with camera monitoring visits for ALL in this case. Those who have nothing to fear and intend to act appropriately have nothing to fear of a loving visit videotaped.
I am sorry that this chaos has occurred, and I am sorry for your pain. But I am much MORE sorry for the elder who has seen siblings descend into what is sounding like allout warfare. We cannot know all sides in this apparently tortured ongoing situation. Your parent deserves perfect peace. My vote goes with any who can/or will attempt to provide exactly that. I will end by telling you, Vikky, that I am sorry for your pain, for truly I am.
As to letting your mother know you have not abandoned her, I would send notes and flowers for now, and try to make peace with those caring for her INCLUDING being taped on visits.
You say you are disabled. Can you tell us more about that as far as your own living situation. Perhaps your daughter who is suffering with Cancer and you could be a support to one another in a solid loving living together situation?
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to AlvaDeer
Report
Vikky830 Oct 11, 2019
So yes I was there at my moms side during the guardianship hearing. She didn’t want a guardian was found competent, but on the day relented in 5he hopes it would end the fighting and keep me living with and caring for her. The first guardian failed to pay her bills and was unable to deal with my sisters constant screaming, complaints and calls, when, after 8 months of guaranteeing they’d abide by my moms wishes to keep her at home, keep me with her and follow thru with her wishes to rent me the upstairs of her home (I pay $1500/month rent, a great deal for my area) so I could leave her floor when my siblings showed up, they literally did the exact opposite. My sister was arrested for the assault, I spent from March til July in a cast. Even though cameras were placed to “see who the instigators are” days after the assault, several episodes of my siblings coming in, screaming, cursing, actually telling my mom she’s “brain dead” and her brain is “mush” and constantly telling her, on video, I drugged, robbed and abused her (she fights back, she’s still really with it, it’s the Parkinson’s that’s the biggest issue so far), they not only fail to protect my mother, but then say they “erased” all videos. I notified APS and her lawyer each time, I included my videos and audios, some so horrific the APS worker “couldn’t look, it makes me sick”. Yet here I am trying to figure out how to protect her rights, her wishes and her ability to freely choose who she spends her time with.
Court is 10/16. I wouldn’t dream of missing it. My fear is that the judge won’t ask for my evidence, view my tapes, read my emails and texts. My mom won’t be there, if she were going, she’d no doubt speak up as to the truth of the situation, but honestly, I’m torn about this, I want and need her there, but I fear the stress of it would cause another heart attack. I’ve tried to get a lawyer for 6 weeks, there’s none to he had right now, every agency is overwhelmed and my situation is apparently not the norm for Family court, where usually it’s partners and minors they deal with, making it more daunting. I will no doubt be assigned a lawyer on the 16th, i just would’ve preferred having time to go over things prior to that day because it’s unbearable not being able to be with my mother. I don’t know how people could be this cruel, she doesn’t deserve this at all.
My mom put the house in a living trust and has been adamant she wants to die here. I’m sure the took POA and have zero faith they’ll follow her wishes so yes, perhaps they’ll sell...on the other hand this is about the house (valued at close to 2 million) and her portfolio (1/5 million), so I have my doubts my greedy siblings would ever permit the sale, denying them of their previous inheritance.
If God forbid something goes wrong and this oop stays intact, I’d want to move. Seeing her the other day and not being able to say I love you tore me up, she looked so hurt and confused, but I couldn’t say anything, the camera was right on me. I can’t send notes or flowers, it’s a full stay away, but it’s a great suggestion. I know I have all the evidence I need to disprove what they’ve said and prove what i know, but I’ve been down this road before with the same siblings and the reality p, as you may know, is you don’t always get the chance to show your case, especially in Family Court.
So do you think if I filed an order to show cause I’d have a shot at the judge hearing my evidence against the guardians? I’d think that if the court can strip a person of their rights, they’d be diligent in ensuring that no form of abuse is taking place and denying her access to her children is abusive in my opinion. I forgot to mention, the guardian is now attempting to file against my oldest sister for speaking to me and telling my mom I love her. Please tell me there is hope, how can it be that I can no longer express or show my mom how much I love her? I know she wants to tell me the same, my heart really hurts.
(0)
Report
See 1 more reply
Press charges for the assault. Also, not sure if it is possible to contest an eviction...? They have to file the eviction and post it for 30 days at the house before they can forcibly remove you. As far as the neglect of your mom, maybe call Social Services and get them to do a wellness check or report a vulnerable adult? Contact your local area's Council on Aging for direction and resources. Ultimately you will need to consult with an elder law attorney regarding the suspected neglect of your mother and how to legally wrestle back control. This will require financial resources.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Geaton777
Report
Isthisrealyreal Oct 10, 2019
Eviction laws vary county to county and state to state. It took us 6 months to get my SIL out and we had to go in front of a judge. Always a good idea to check with the housing authority to know what you can expect.
(2)
Report
See 2 more replies

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter