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Mom went to AL/memory care yesterday. I called the caregivers to see how the first night went, and she onlu slept about 20 minutes and is pacing looking for me. Should I not have called so soon? Is this normal for the first night? She did have a little breakfast and some coffee, and then resumed pacing.

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She is between stage 5 and 6 on Alzheimer scale. And was always a strong, stubborn woman. These traits have become magnified with the dementia.
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I think you should leave her be for a few days, at least. You don't mention how cognitively declined she is--so maybe waiting, while hard on you, would make no difference to her, if she isn't aware of the passage of time.

Ask the caregivers what THEY think you should do. Any change in the "usual" is quite upsetting to someone with memory issues. When her caregivers give you the OK, then go visit, but keep it short and sweet. Let the facility do the job they're bring paid to do.

Try and let go, bit by bit and adjust to the new norm. You can call everyday, or better yet, have a specific caregiver call YOU if there's a problem.
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Absolutely, she's staying. And, I feel bad,ut I'm not gong to run over thereustnto make her feel better. Just wondered if this is normal. The facility has asked us to stay away for at least a week, maybe more. I actually called the caregiver in charge to make sure she knows tha Mom should receive Communion this afternoon. Is it better for me to just not call to see how she's doing everyday? I'm not talking to her, only to the caregiver on duty.
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Gloria--
This sounds totally normal to me. DON'T take this all on yourself.

The transition will be hard, you know that, right? I would not visit everyday and let mom get adjusted.

The staff there will know how to handle her and her pacing, etc. Try not to get upset about it. All of us have had sleepless nights and live through them. A mild sedative can be ordered, her dr should be notified, but she'll settle in.

Was she living with you before this? You're probably more invested than you need to be. If she is in a Memory Care unit, she needs to be in one. Let the staff do their jobs and maybe chat with the dr on Monday?

Sometimes not knowing is better than knowing, Had you been there, what could you have done? At some point, mom is going to have to be left alone.

Good Luck with this. She'll settle down.
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