On Friday mother complained with pain some where along her right side. She would show us shoulder, ribs, chest, stomach, different each time. She has suspected Lewy body/ Parkinson, and or muliti infarct dementia, maybe stage 6 to 7-a... Her bones are so fragile and hospice nurse just suspected a cracked rib. So, she was very quite, just mostly sleeping Friday, Saturday, and Sunday she gradually worsened...ran low grade temp ate just a few bites, almost comatose, worsened over Sunday night, and Monday she was even worse.Her mouth was gaped wide open, shallow breathing, had up to 30 seconds she'd stop breathing, she'd pull one side of her mouth up almost like a snarl, hands shaking worse than usual, when we'd wake her she didn't appear to be very confuses, she knew her family, sometimes she lay with her eyes opened, glazy and fixed. We told her sister, and grand children to come visit because Nanny was probably dying. She is almost 85 years old. Monday night while a grand son and a daughter were sitting with her., She fixed her eyes looking up, didn't breath fo rwhat seems like minutes, and they could not get her to respond to them at all...did this three times ove ra matter of about five minutes. Tuesday she woke up, back like what we call her status quo self.....mouth not opened, normal breathing, sleeping, no complaining, eating better and feeding herself, talking, like nothing ever happened....I did notice that her short term memory seems to be worse after this episode. The hospice nurse that came when she was so bad, told us she couldn't really see any differece, and we just stood there dumb founded, and decided no use calling them back at all...just let them continue to come on their scheduled days and fill out their paper work and be on their way..We are so worn out with this greiving then uplifting then mama's not gonna be here in a few days to mama is gonna be here a year from's so hard emotionally for us....and now I'm just dealing with such anger....with Doctors, nurses, us, but worse with mama.....trying to get past the feeling of just either die or live and stop doing this to us....then there is the guilt..

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I do not want it to sound like I'm the only person hurting is always worse for a lot of families. But, I am realizing at that moment that's the way you feel, poor me, no body knows, no one cares, and we all just gotta remember we all need each other some times to just validate us..Thank you so much for reaching out and does help and I do feel some body listened.
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Bless your hearts. I cannot imagine how stressful and confusing this must be for your family. Hugs and prayers of comfort for you Mom and your family.
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