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My mom is 86 and dying. Hospice comes in just about everyday, and they update me as to how much time they think she has left. She's starting to breathe harder and I'm getting scared. I have been with her my entire life and became her caregiver about ten years ago. She's in a coma right now. I have to roll her over every few hours. I'm here alone with her, so they told me to do it every four hours, so I could try to sleep. I'm scared I'll go crazy and not be able to function. I'm going to have to get another job a couple of weeks after her death, since my I was a paid caregiver for mom. I want to make it through the grief, but I'm scared that I won't be able to handle it. Anyone felt that way?

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LL, I am so sorry for your loss. My mom was a touchy feely, and I always pushed her away. Just too much touchy feely for me. It always felt like she was joking around.
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Oh, honey, I am so sorry. Thank you for letting us know. None of us know each other on this forum, yet we know each other on a deeper level than most of our family and friends. I'm relieved you and your family were able to spend those precious several hours together before she was taken.

May sweet memories of your mother bring you peace. We're right there with you.
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I'm so sorry. It's really hard to lose someone you love.
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I am sorry for your loss. My mom wasn't touchy-feely either and as she approached her end, I got to love on her more than I had ever before. I treasured that time - smoothing her hair, stroking her cheek, singing to her, holding her hand. I also spent time alone with her after she passed. You will remember those precious moments with her. {{{Hugs}}}
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My mother died this morning. I woke up and found that she'd already passed. I was alone in the house with her at the time, so I had a brief moment of hysteria, and then I just cried my eyes out. I crawled into bed with her to hold her one last time. She was never a "touchy-feely" person, so I was finally able to do that. Family members came to sit with me afterward for several hours, until the funeral home came to get mom. I preferred not to watch her being taken out in a body bag, so I just looked out at the horizon through my kitchen window, until after they drove off. Its going to be the hardest thing to get over, I know, but I'm going to have to keep putting one foot in front of the other every day, whether I want to or not. I have the freedom to leave the house now for long periods, which will be nice. I can only take about two weeks off from work. Going back will be tough. But anyway, the best advice I've been given is to take one day at a time, or one moment at a time. I still can't go into her empty bedroom, yet, though. Dear God, help me get through this biggest challenge of my life.....
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How are you doing LL? Still praying for you.
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Dear liverlips486,

Thinking of you during this difficult time. I hope a trusted friend or family member can be with you. I just want to add my support. Sending you love and hugs.
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LL I am so sorry you are going through this. Talk to your Mom she can still hear you. When I lost my Dad it was very difficult. Only by the grace of God was I able to bear the grief. Find comfort in Gods word and his love for you through his son Jesus Christ.
This is a difficult season to go through in life, but you will be ok and get through it. Do find a bible believing church. Will pray for you and yours. May God give you strength and courage. You are not alone. So sorry
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I felt that way when I thought about losing my dad. However, I did the complete opposite and pulled everything together and handled business. I guess I just did what I had to do & knew my dad would have been proud of me. I now just lost my mom and have continued to manage everything on my own. You find strength you never knew you had. They would want us to move forward. It doesn’t mean forgetting them, it means living our lives knowing they are watching over us.
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Its nice to know that people understand. Thanks
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Do you have anyone who can come and sit with you for a short time? In my mom's final day, even though I had hospice, it was just me. I had a girlfriend come and she spent a couple of hours just sitting with me and talking about mom. It gave me great comfort and I will never forget that kindness of hers. She had only met my mom once but wanted to support me. My mom died later that evening when I was in the room right next to her. I had been with her for 12 hours, going in and out and she died when I was in the next room taking a break. So if that happens to you, don't be surprised. Our loved ones sometimes want to be alone when they pass. You'll get through it. Freqflyer's comments were beautiful about the circle of life and your mom and her mom and on back through your family line. {{{Hugs}}} we're here with you during this time.
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You'll be able to go forward like your mother was able to live on after her mother died. I do hope that you have some other family members and friends who can be with you at this difficult time.
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Liverelips, oh, I just remembered, Hospice usually has a support hotline. Plus Hospice will call a few times after the fact to see if you need to talk to anyone.
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I feel like there should be a hotline for people going through this. The circle of life can be really tough and unbearably sad. When I was losing my grandma, the entire family was out of town. It was just me, my grandma, and the staff at the nursing home. She went into some sort of seizure, I still don't know what it was. Oh it was so awful to witness. I think I was a little bit in shock. I remember afterward, an aid, sensing my distress, gave me the biggest, strongest hug I've ever had in my life. This total stranger made such a difference in my life. I am sending you a big, strong virtual hug.
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We're here for liverlips! {hug} If you're having trouble being alone with your mother at this very difficult time, can you have a hospice volunteer or counselor with you? I'd hate to think you're afraid of being alone during this time. Do you have family to lean on and who can come? I wish I had more for you, though posters above gave you good ideas. {big hug to you}
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Thanks for your encouragement, everyone.
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Liverlips, so sorry to read about your Mother. This is a difficult time, and it's not easy for most of us to witness this part of the journey.

Try to look at it this way.... you'll manage to be able to go on without Mom the same way your Mom did when her own Mother had passed, and her Mother's mother had passed.

Once everything settles down, hold your head up high, go out and get that new job, and make your Mom proud once again. In a way, you won't be alone, Mom's spirit will be there for you.

My Dad's spirit will show up in the house when I noticed something had been moved just a tiny bit, just enough that I know about. One day my late parent's old chime mantel clock chimed once, strange since it hadn't chimes in years. One day when opening the front drapes which are on rings, I felt a hand on top of my hand helping me, and it didn't scare me. Thanks, Dad.

When I found myself with a lot of free time, I dove into the family history which I found very fascinating. I had signed up for Ancestry.com. Lot of very interesting great great uncles and aunts. For example, a female relative who had her degree in chemistry back in the very early 1900's, school teaching was her only career choice.... yet, her brother who also had a degree in chemistry had a high level job in a corporation.
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Hugs

Be there for her. As long as you have done your best, it will be enough.

If you have no one then try a church. A group of some type? It will take time and we all have to face bed things. It is what defines us.

I send you hope and strength for the future.
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I think everyone who loses a loved one feels that way. Nothing prepares us for this last moments of someone's life.

Do you have someone who can come be with you? This is a lot to handle all alone.

You will be OK. The grief is normal and you'll get through it. I have no real words of comfort--I do hope you have a friend or some family to be there for you. It won't be easy, but it will be OK.

Prayers for you tonight.
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