What should I do about mom's dismissive attitude towards physical therapy and doctors?

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I had a sitdown with my brother tonight. My brother told me something that I wasn't really aware of. Mom's refuses to go back to physical therapy and to see her orthopedic surgeon. My brother use to leave work early for the past few months to take her to her physical therapy sessions. Her orthopedic surgeon actually owns the facility. Back in May, my mom stopped going to physical therapy.. Mom always had told me because Medicare had stopped paying for it. I remembered her surgeon had written a new order for her to continue the physical therapy. I had asked her few months back does the doctor wanted to continue to see you. She said he has never mentioned it to me so I don't bother to ask. She said, that he told her that he did what he could to repair her broken hip. I was working for the past few months at a temp job for a local government agency, hence my brother had taken her to PT and surgeon appointments because I couldn't get off work to do so. My brother said to me that mom told him that she doesn't want to go back to PT because it didn't do her any good. She had broken her hip last fall. She is still wheelchair bound, has multiple health issues which makes it difficult for her to move (Osteoporosis, arthritis, diabetic nerve pain, and yes Obesity) I am sure the doctor knows what he is doing regarding ordering PT sessions. I understand that her weight makes it difficult to do any type of exercises. I told my brother that she told me that he didn't want him to be in trouble for taking off work to take her to PT. My brother says he is fed up with her attitude and he is not going to say anything anymore. I don't blame him. I sometimes think that she is not trying hard enough to improve. I sometimes look at mom with resentment and disgust every time I see her in that wheelchair. I am that is very cruel thing to say and think. Yes she won't be the same physically she is 75 yrs old with health issues. She has become a burden. What should I do? HELP!

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B, if your mom will sign a HIPPA release form from her doc's office, they will be able to talk to you about her condition. You don't need to have her Med POA. Same thing with the PT center. I suspect if she said she wasn't getting better, that she wasn't compliant with the physical therapy, at which point Medicare will NOT pay for it anymore. I recently had my knees replaced and was in PT for several weeks. While there, I noticed a lot of different patients of many ages, some who were working very hard and some who were hardly working. My PT told me that after a certain number of sessions, if the patient isn't improving, whether because they aren't compliant or because the therapy isn't working, the insurance, Medicare or otherwise, won't continue to pay. A lot of the non-compliant patients went through the motions in the PT center, but the therapist said they can always tell if they're doing their Pt at home as well.

I wish your Mom wanted to get better, but having been through this with my own mother, there's basically nothing you can do to force her. We even tried putting her in a rehab center for PT, and if she just wanted to sit in her wheelchair and go through the motions, they allowed it for as long as Medicare would pay. She didn't improve, so they sent her home.

Hate to tell you, but some people really WANT to be invalids. They WANT others to wait on them and take care of them. I'm sorry your mom has done this at age 75. Most of the 75-year-olds I know are traveling the world enjoying life. My Mom waited to give up until she was 80, but we have spent the last 10 years taking care of her because she CHOOSES to be an invalid.

I know some people will tell you to get her on anti-depressants, and they may help. I found they helped ME a lot more than Mom, since she did this to herself willfully. She refuses to do PT. She refuses to take the meds for some of her medical conditions. She refuses to let us bathe her sometimes. And she will probably live for another 10 years. But she doesn't want to get better.
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@Sonswife and Sneezemd, Yes I do know that Medicare has certain limits on how much they cover for physical therapy. My mom is very stubborn. She believes that the PT facility that is owned by her surgeon's practice doesn't do enough. She doesn't understand that her health issues is going to be a big barrier. I have been noticing since she had come home from nursing care facility. she gets depressed at times. She yelled at me tonight because I don't like when she bosses me around. She says you think I like being this way that I can't do things like I use to. I really don't think she doesn't want to try hard enough. I can only do what I can do. I have put my life on hold my career goals on hold since she had her heart attack in 2008 and when she broken her hip. My mom is from Italy. Italians don't like to talk about health issues and they have suspicions of doctors. If I can get her primary doctor alone with me, I may ask about depression. He speaks Italian. He always tells me that she is stubborn and the italian culture is that way. I cannot take it anymore.
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Could your mother be suffering from depression as well? A call to her primary care may help. Depression in the elderly is common.
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Do you have your mother's permission or the authority (Durable Power of Attorney for Medical Care) to speak to the surgeon or PT regarding her situation? She may be depressed and discouraged and have given up trying or she may have improved as much as she is going to. As far as follow up care with the orthopedist, my orthopedist sees me every year to evaluate the wear on my hip prosthesis. Medicare limits PT sessions in a couple of ways. The person needs to continue to show progress to justify continuing PT, also there is also a limit on the number of hours of PT a person can have in a calendar year.
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