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My mother has been seeing a dentist for the last 2 years after her stroke. He claims I should get someone to come to the home...I was broadsided by this sudden brush off...as he left the office the day of her dental cleaning.... for an emergency and I found out through a conversation with the hygienist who commented that , " They don't work on people like my mother?" I have since contacted the dentist who said I could contact a dentist who comes to the home....I contacted the number of his referral and spoke to the receptionist who stated it is $280 for the inital visit and there are no guarantees that the work can be done at home. Now I am upset because with numberous cavities.... mother needs help...although they are not hurting her yet...I am concerned about the possibility of infection developing in her mouth. Should I tell the new dentist I see how the old dentist felt? He put this in his notes about how stressful it was to work on her.... I spoke with our primary doctor who said that didn't seem appropriate to not treat people with declining health... The dentist justified that I can't force him to treat my mother.... Any suggestions?

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Check and see if there is a dental school in the area.
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Thank you all for your sound advice and perspectives.... Especially good to know from movingup.. I will contact the local hospitals. i am checking into other dentists in the area and telling them up front that my mom is not aggressive but she has difficulty swallowing after several mini strokes and she suffers from sjograms disease ( dry mouth) .
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So, GofG, I suggest you contact your nearest hospitals and ask where you can find specialist clinics and dentists who are comfortable working with patients with medical problems. Some dentists like such work but most see very few dental patients with medical problems. Most dental patients are in blooming good health. I used to work in dental offices. The gap between the image and the reality was quite a shock.
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Dentists are called Doctor in North America but are much closer to engineers than doctors in mentality. They are usually not accustomed to working with sick people and often know little about medical matters, especially after being out of dental school for more than ten years. However there are some dentists who specialize in working with sick people and some hospitals have dental clinics especially for dental patients with serious medical problems.

In England, when I was there anyway, dentists were not called Dr, just plain Mr. and I think that is more accurate and less misleading.
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I think you should find a new dentist and have a conversation with him about whether he is comfortable treating the elderly. If she is unco-operative consider a sedative.
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My parents have had the same dentist for the past 30 years... but on the last visit the dentist finally told my mother there wasn't anything else he could do for her when she took in a broken partial plate.

He had been so very patient with my Mom over all those years even though Mom never followed his recommendations to leave her partial plates in her mouth to get use to them.... so what happens the plates eventually break, always had to get them repaired or replaced... and the gums had worn down from Mom putting that plate in/out every time she ate... even one cookie. She was her own worse enemy.... [sigh]
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CW, that is an EXCELLENT IDEA.
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What exactly are his concerns? Is you mom argumentative and uncooperative? Some dentists specialize in sedated dentistry if that is the case.
We were lucky to find a dentist that worked with residents from local nursing homes so he was very good with older people. Perhaps a nursing home in your area has someone they could recommend?
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Well, he's right about one thing. You can't force ANYdentist to work on your mother. Best bet is to forget about that guy and see if you can get a referral to someone else.
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