Mom’s dementia and her house. Any guidance on what to do?

It is a huge part of her life and she does not want to let it go.

The best thing is to sell the house if no family member wants to live there.

When I was a volunteer many times there were residents determined to leave the seniors home and go home. Many times there would be hard core arguments with the staff.

I would just talk with them about the house as if they were a child still living there and gently guide them back to their room. It is best to have family photo's there and we would talk about the old days. They would forget about going home.

Do not attempt to use reason and logic because they cannot understand it. Go back in time with them where they feel comfortable and show them a photo and ask questions about it.

If anybody has a power of attorney for her financial matters, he/she is authorized to handle this matter. If not, please consult with a lawyer who specializes in family law in the state your mother lives in (and maybe in state house is in, if different states) to find out your legal options:
1 - Empty home of valuables and store in secure location - no matter whatever else you do. These items are what would be considered part of your mother's estate when she dies.
2 - Rent out home either empty or furnished. If renting as furnished, do not expect that others will "cherish" the furnishings like your mom does. Maybe a family member needs a place to stay and this could work for your mother and for them.
3 - Divide up furnishings according to whomever mom what things to go to... or as others want items.
4 - Sell furnishings on Craiglist or eBay.
5 - Sell home to a company that does estimates and quick sales or through a realtor.
6 - Wait. Your state may require the court to appoint a legal guardian to deal with your mother's assets. Make sure the home is in good repair and that it is cleaned regularly.

I went through this for years with my dad and his home that he lived in 1/2 time in another state, halfway across the county. Eventually it became clear he couldn't move "home" by himself and still he wanted to keep it. I finally explained to him that if he waited too long to move back into it, he would lose his primary residency exemption and then incur capital gains on it. He knew he would have to sell it to pay expenses someday and it was hard telling when someday would be. I think the rule is you can be away from it for 2 or 3 years out of 5 and still take the exemption but if gone too long then it becomes a capital gain. He's a penny pincher and immediately told me to sell it (wish I had thought of that earlier). He didn't understand anything about the taxes really just that it was going to cost alot if he waited too long. I packed up some stuff for storage and sold the rest with the help of an estate sale agent, getting pennies which was sad but necessary, moving his stuff across country wasn't worth it as we had no idea what he would need once he moved to assisted living. Now there are no expenses or worries related to the the house and I think he feels Ok about it. He looks at pictures and still enjoys telling us about how he loved the house. I worried about that house all the time so I am happier too.

I had to tell my Grandmother that if I let her go back to her house the neighbors would call the authorities and have me charged with neglect- it was the truth( although she was not neglected). The neighbors had threatened to do it if I did not remove her from her home. Granted Grandma was 99 and did not see or hear well, she had no dementia.. My life was much easier having her in my house, even with the complaining of being taken from her home. Anyhow, I just told Grandma what the neighbors said and packed up her house and moved anything that might be of value to my garage to sort through. My mom is the same way 89 and a bit forgetful. I have food delivered, and keep reassuring the neighbors mom is great.... It is a large burden to insist on staying in one home way after they can not run the house... I am well into my 60's myself. I fully intend to move near one of my kids when I can no longer manage my home....