My Mom's companion is a hoarder. Her room is a horrible mess. I think I have a moral imperative to step in. Advice?

First, imagine it was your mother in this position, what would you want to have happen? Does this woman have no family? Contacting them would be my first move, it sounds as though she needs help. You come across as very hostile toward this woman, but it sounds as though she is more than a tenant, but a friend and companion to your mother. What makes you think she will be hospitalized, has she an untreated condition that may lead to this?

You don't say anything about the condition of your own mother... would she be able to cope on her own? Might it be time for both of them to consider assistive living? You say she has been living with "us", do you live with them also, is this your home or your mother's? If it is your mother's home she has the right to share it with whomever she chooses, if it is yours know that you will have to go through a formal eviction process, this woman has the same rights as any tenant. Having her "forcibly removed" is not an option.

What no one seems to remember is that Hoarding in itself is a disease. That doesn't mean I would want my Mom living around it but it does mean the companion has mental issues along with her physical ones. It is difficult for me to believe there wouldn't be lots of help available. I believe the others have given great legal advice and direction and I hope you will follow it. One more thing, when you pray for your Mom don't forget to pray for her companion. Bless you all!

I sympathize with you, it seems that you are now caring for two instead of having a helper to share the load. The woman definitely needs some form of help, but it should not have to come from you! I hope APS can discover whether or not she has POA in place and who that might be. I hope they can help both you and her.
It sounds as though you are having to make some difficult choices about all your living arrangements going forward... would you be hiring another live in aide, move mom to assistive living or bring in an hourly home-care agency?

Mom suffers from cognitive issues. She owns the house and her companion is very supportive of her but denigrates me to my mom every chance she gets. Therefore the hostility, which is of very recent origin. Therefore my screen name. The companion has so many health issues that I will only mention the major ones. COPD, severe spinal stenosis requiring use of a walker. Obesity, she is 5' & weighs 235 lbs. History of 3 strokes. She has visible blood in the urine, I see it on the couch and even the floor. She has also told me she has hematuria. She visits kidney doctor once a month. The hoarding keeps her from being able to use the oxygen provided to her. One of her knees needs replacing very soon.

I live in the house also & have since it was built. I was the caregiver for my grandmother & stepfather but they have passed on. Mom's health is not good but the worst problem she has is the short term memory loss poor judgement. She has had one major stroke and global strokes according to MRI.

Perhaps this will enable you to see why I feel responsible for her welfare. And she will be hospitalized periodicly. Frankly I will miss the companion's help as she help mom in spite of her disabilities. Mostly as a companion. But her room, which we are not allowed to view at all is a shambles and smells. She does not pay any expenses but that is acceptable to mom and to me both.

In most states, this lady is a tenant in your home. I would call Adult Protective Services and explain she was moved into your home to care for mom, she is now unwell herself and go on from there. They will have some ideas for you.

As to her room...legally, that is her private property. However, I wouldn't worry about 'legally.' Take photos before you start and clean away.

You've got a real mess on your hands in more ways than one.

I agree with Maggie on most points..but I don;t think you can just clean away... Maybe tell her a fiblet about "bugs in the house".. or something. Then tell her the lawyer said you need a contract of some sort.. that enables you to go into her room for health reasons? Offer to help her clean up?

The inappropriate urinating and hoarding are going to breed disease, never mind the stentch! There has to be another solution b/c she can't continue to live there.

Betrayed: You have just answered your own question in that you don't want your mom living in these conditions.

You don't have to wait to ask Adult Protective Services for their evaluation. There are unsanitary conditions in your opinion and probably fire hazard in your opinion. They will have their own opinion, and it may or may not rise to their level of concern. So, waiting for hospitalization may not help you. APS may not agree that things are bad enough for you to refuse to let her back in, especially since you do not have ownership of the home, and have no current legal standing. My sisters and I thought our Mom's home was terrible...but APS said they had bigger fish to fry after seeing it. No windows or exits were blocked by the buildup, and there were no dead animals. They did not see it as a fire hazard overall. But if you are right, then you will have support for beginning to address changes rather than waiting for a disappointing opinion when the hospital stay happens.

Could be a matter of landlord tenant law...if the "rent" was services instead of money...you, as "landlord" have the role of keeping the place habitable, and many places not only permit but require an annual saftey inspection. Not habitability can be grounds for eviction....while it might not be the answer to turn someone out, that could be a means to let you legally assess the situation...I would check that route, in addition to calling APS...any other housemate would have been gone a long time ago , if it was just the fact of renting a room...given the caregiving aspect, if it was me, I would check both. And also what labor laws cover these situations in your area.