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Is what my Mom chooses in her life any of my concern? She is not old at all, only 73, but her Mother used to live with her and recently passed, leaving her emotionally vulnerable. Our family doesn't trust the women my Mom moved into her home. On one hand we are grateful she isn't alone because she has suffered from depression in the past, but on the other hand they have set the rules in the house and she must adhere to them. They completely emptied the house and got rid of everything that was my Grandmothers, some went to family members while most was donated or thrown out. They ripped out the old carpet and laid lamenite flooring and painted all the house inside. And charged a pretty penny to do it, I might add. Question; is this my concern?

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Hi Jodi,
Having read your post I have to say that I'm concerned for your Mum and definitely think you should be!
In the past I was emotionally vulnerable myself (though I didn't realize it at the time), and made some really poor personal choices. I had left my control freak of a husband to live on my own and cultivated "friendships" that were totally one-sided and could have become destructive was it not for the intervention of my concerned sister. I did not welcome her input at the time, but am very grateful that she persisted - gently and continually.
The problem is that vulnerability is often a by-product of loneliness or shock or both, and when you're in that situation, it is only human that you should reach out to those who appear to shield you. It is easy to accept without question 'caring' friends that claim to have your best interests at heart - when, under normal circumstances, you would question their motives.
I could be wrong here (and I hope I am !) - but it seems to me that your Mum has invited people into her life who have only their own interests at heart (I did the same). She may feel they are right for her and she needs them, but experience tells me that what she really needs is a gentle reality check. What is going on here ??
You clearly love and care for her and she needs to feel that. Being alone can be so daunting for someone who has never experienced it and it is so easy to make mistakes.
Keep a close eye and be there for her. Guide her back to herself - if that makes sense?
Good luck and hugs to you
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Seriously? Why would that NOT be your concern??? Who are these women - are they family?? Why would she allow them to completely control her home and her life? If your mother is too vulnerable to stand up and protect herself, who will if you don't?
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The fact that the other women "set the rules of the house" and your mom "must adhere to them" is very troubling. That indicates that she is losing her freedom of volition over her own life. This could be dangerous, especially if you don't trust them to have your mom's best interest in mind. At 73, I believe that your mom's choices are definitely your concern.
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Hi Jodi. Interesting question. From what you wrote, your Mom doesn't have signs of dementia, but is emotionally vulnerable. Has she moved these women in to help w/ expenses, or just for company? So, it sounds as though your Mom is paying for all the improvements they made and not only the materials, but they charged labor too? I don't blame you for being concerned. I would be concerned. I guess it would depend on how long your Mom has known these women, and if they are trustworthy. If they are new in her life, or if they are just people she "hired" to move in and do work.....then I would certainly keep an eye on things, as she could be vulnerable enough to be taken huge advantage of. If they aren't trustworthy people, they could get her to do all kinds of things that would benefit themselves monetarily, and leave your Mom strapped and wondering what hit her. If you could keep a close watch without giving those women the idea that your suspicious, or that you'er an enemy, that would be best. "Make friends of your enemies" so you can keep them close....And do it in a way that your Mom doesn't think you disapprove of what she's doing but are just a loving and concerned daughter. Which it sounds like you are. The women might be just fine and good people, but you just can't take that for granted. And, are they paying rent and contributing to the expenses of the place....or living there free, and charging your Mom for work? Things to check into, if you can, without being too nosy. Just let your Mom know you care, and you think she may be a bit vulnerable right now. :)
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