I am coping the best I can dealing with the sadness myself. Since Mom has been in long term care, her dementia has advanced quickly, But as her POA and daughter, I'm trying to keep my sadness and negative thoughts at bay just to keep my act together. I focus on the positive things and moments when Mom is still herself. However,the best friend (since high school) calls me venting how horribly upset and distraught she is to witness the dementia when she visits. I recognize her need to do this, as natural part of grieving, but it depresses me - especially after I've had a positive visit with Mom. I've tried hinting to her that I don't appreciate her doing this - but she doesn't hear. She only rambles on and on. She herself is 92, and I think she might be more worried about herself than Mom...afraid it will happen to her? She talks about the good old days, and how they all had 50 years of wonderful retirement, enjoying the Florida life style..when I'm newly retired and not rolling in money - and with the burden of Mom on my shoulders!
The last thing I want to do is disrespect this person, since there's so much history between our families. But, I feel like a door mat sometimes, letting her depress me with her sad thoughts. I may just have to abruptly end the conversation due to a fictitious distraction? This feels harsh, but I'm not able to stop her when she gets going.