Is mom's behavior part of her dementia or just her personality?

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I have had enough of all the strange behaviors my mother is exhibiting since her dementia diagnosis. This is a new one lately that absolutely drives me crazy. Tell me if you think this is as much as I feel it is. We have 2 bathrooms in our home. Recently the toilet in her (my mom's) room broke--got plugged up. She does use and inordinate amount of toilet paper and she puts things down there like food scraps. Anyway, the second bathroom off my room is working and available. Soooooo.....in the middle of the night when she has to go #1 or #2, she does so in this bucket and then brings it to my toilet in the morning and dumps it. I have told her and told her and leave the light on in the second bathroom so she can use it if needed. I have even thrown the disgusting blue bucket away so she won't (she has fished it out of the trash). To me this is disgusting and unnecessary. Am I over-reacting or is this just another step in her failing mind?

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All I can do is guess, but I think she believes she is helping. She likely doesn't remember or can't figure out your instructions. This has got to be irritating for you, but it's likely just the beginning of "strange behaviors." I'd talk with her doctor if she seems to be declining quickly. There may be an adjustment in her medications that could help.
Good luck,
Carol
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How about getting her a potty chair for her room, or if it fits, put it in her original bathroom. I agree she thinks she is helping. :(
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Hi Daughter25. I see your posting it's 2 months ago. But because I am searching for answers myself, I discovered your post. It's all so frustrating.

My mom is used to peeing in receptacles like a garbage can or large jar because it is what she learned when growing up with parents who immigrated to the USA in the early 1900's. And that is what they used way back then. So it's first nature to them it is how it used to be. However my mom was introduced to more modern techniques as she grew up. She knows what bathrooms are and toilets. Heck She trained me and my siblings to use the toilet. But know she is in her 84yr she has resorted back to peeing in her garbage an in the middle of the night. It is tough for her to move around as she did injure her knee many years ago.

For me, my frustration is never ending as I say to her .."Mom your room is starting to smell." (Wrong think to say). Mom let's spruce up your room...theres a odor once again(wrong think to say to her.) Next..in thinking that I am helping to preserve her sense of loss of identity..."Mom because your knee is painful and you have difficulty getting to the bathroom at night I can get a potty for you to use in the middle of the night, you can dump it in the morning." To no avail....failure. I too am at my wits end. I hate walking to my bedroom past her bedroom and smelling sour pee.
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Cannot the toilet be repaired?
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thanks Sapphire56. It's nice to hear someone else experiencing the same thing. Mom has now returned to using her toilet (I think). I also had to shampoo carpets and wash many things afterward. She also managed to put a huge bleach stain on the carpet from trying to 'sanitize' the bucket that she 'went' in. Someone else had mentioned the potty idea to me too. I think that you still should do it. She may actually come to like using it.
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Yes, skinonna...her toilet has finally been repaired. Thank goodness.
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its your mothers existing personality only distorted with dementia and all filters removed.
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Not sure whom I am answering here, capnhardass or skinnoa or Daughter25 ... :) but maybe this will help.

Actually, my mom's toilet habits are not a extension of her dementia. She has done that for years because she has lived with me in different accommodations and when the restroom was not advantatious for her she would keep ( a urinal collectoral) in her bedroom. And that is because of the distance to the restroom that was available to her. However, her bathroom is not far away from her bedroom now and I know she has much difficulty being able to get herself out of bed because of her bad knees to make it to the bathroom. And I think her aim is not what it used to be because of the urine odor. That is why I am trying to promote the portable potty. I would just like her to have less pain trying to support herself using the restroom. But she is highly sensitive to comments.
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This will help you Teepa Snow youtube she is an expert on all this will talk about the stages and how our brain dies with this what parts die first and how the person will act. I have to say realize your mom is doing this because she can't do it anyother way. Teepa talks about how they will see a coffee cup and see the coffee in the cup but pours it on the floor not because they want to it is their brain dieing and they can't see how to drink the coffee. or they might play in the toilet water. because of sensation response. I wish you luck but stop trying to get her to see it your way she can't. Try to just look for mom and you might see her at times and other times you won't. I will pray for you
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My Mom (91) is demented, I think not Alz, but we are working thru bathroom issues. We just broke thru a 7 week period of refusing to shower or change clothes. My suggestions are to get a baby monitor and put some bells on her or the bed so you can hear her. I'll bet a few nights of you intercepting her before she has a chance to hunker down over the trash can and guiding her to the toilet with chimes of praise would short circuit this behavior. Also having a waste basket with a lid that is prominent in the bathroom might be a place for some of those extra things that shouldn't be in the toilet. Last spring I had to pay a plumber $500- to clean our drains of those wiper things that aren't supposed to be flushed. Now you can buy "flushable" ones that are easier on the drains. Plus if they have access to those nice wet, soft wipers, they may use less toilet paper. You have to look for the flushable ones because the "do not flush" products have that printed in tiny tiny print!
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