Mom has been very passive aggressive about everything and it is getting on my nerves. Any advice?


Recently my mom's behavior has gotten more passive aggressive since she had broken her hip last year. If I make small talk about how nice the weather is outside or that is a nice shoe. She would say something like. "What do I care about the weather since I can't walk outside anymore or I don't care about the shoe because I cannot wear heels anymore."

Oh you guys would love this one. My first cousin from Paris France called me on Christmas day and wanted to invite me to visit her and her family by paying for my round trip ticket. I politely declined the invitation because ,my mom needs me to take her to appointment and my father can no longer drive. My brother is a truck driver always out on the road. I told my cousin that I have to take care of my mom and right now I am unemployed so I have to look for work. Then mom got on my case about me telling my cousin that I am unemployed and that I have to care for her. Then she says that she is glad that I didn't consider going to France because her brother (my cousin's father) would never let her forget that I couldn't buy airfare. My mom and her brother have not been on speaking terms for over 10 years now due to their mother's estate in Italy.
Another thing that got to me more was the fact that my told me that while she was pregnant with me she almost miscarried me. I said to her why after all these years you have to tell me this. She said had to stay in bed for a few months or I would never been born. I thought that was very insensitive of her to tell me this. She always said that she wished she and dad never married and I think I serve as a reminder of this. She claimed that she was glad that i was born but I really don't believe her. She deeps down loves my brother more than me because he doesn't have the characteristics or temperment of my dad's family.

I was so speechless when she told me that I was a 'difficult pregnancy' and was almost still born. Well sometimes I wish that I was stillborn. :(

You think she is saying these things because she is not well mentally and physically?

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Negativity is contagious, be careful. Ask cousin for a rain check, what a nice offer, you surely could use a latte by the Eiffel Tower.
Filter out mom's negativity.
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She is manipulating you, playing the guilt card. Don't buy it. Ah, they may get old, they may get dementia, but they always try to make you think " You owe me". Talk to her MD about ant-anxiety medications, they may lessen her need to obsess over negative things in the past. Redirect her conversation to something happy, something current, like the approach of Spring. You will both feel better.
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