Mom's asking about her deceased family members and where they are. What do I tell her? - AgingCare.com

Mom's asking about her deceased family members and where they are. What do I tell her?

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Mom asks if her father is still alive and where is he-other times she asks the same of her brother who is also deceased. She seems to think they are living in our house and I'm not telling her the truth. When is respond that they are deceased, that seems to satisfy her (until the next time)

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I think redirecting the conversation is definitely something that worked for me. Not all the time; but most of the time depending on the severity of the dementia. It was so sad and my MIL would go so far as to try to call her deceased husband for him to pick her up. She couldn't remember the telephone number and would ask me to call. So, I called my cell phone which has a generic message and she would think we were calling him and he just wasn't home. And then she was satisfied and forgot about it until the next time. I only did this if redirecting didn't work. Take care.
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My mother-in-law who will be 90 this year and has the 'amnesia' type Alzheimers, asks this stuff all the time. I've been dealing with her doing that for the last 6 years, but it's only gotten worse for the past 3 years I think. It's to the place in our relationship now that she has come to trust me. So that when she says she wants me to call her parents number for her so she can talk to them, and I tell her they died years ago she believes me. We go thru this all the time she and I. When she asks, I just keep it all matter of fact about how/who/when/where that her husband/parents/brothers/boss died and the circumstances surrounding their deaths. I've become used to just talking about what happened to them and reminding her about the stories she told me about them. Redirection works pretty good NOW, but it didn't used to work. She had to trust me that I wouldn't lie to her, and that's from cultivating our relationship for all these years. She tells me that I'm the one she can rely on to always 'give it to her straight' and she appreciates that. Well since she can't remember that she doesn't ALWAYS appreciate my honesty with her, I'll let that go. ha
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