Mom is afraid that if I so much as go to the store after dark (which is about the only place I go these days) that it's mortally dangerous. I really don't go out any more anyway, maybe twice a week I may leave during the day, usually to get groceries or just get out for a few minutes, but pretty much for four years my life has been here and isolated since moving here (I'm a freelancer who works from home also and that will continue for a number of reasons I won't detail here). I'm in my early fifties and feel like a prisoner. There is nothing that can be done on her end, she's resistant to any anti-anxiety, therapy, whatever, no one she knows who would come stay with her, etc, and she would bristle at that suggestion anyway. The answer to anything is always no. She's not to the point where she has to be watched all the time for safety reasons, just in general it's necessary to keep an eye on her. She's just very anxious and dependent and has gotten used to me being here. She does not go out and if she does, I drive her because she's not safe to drive on her own. I am trying to get her involved in outside activities but she is not that physically well and she is limited in energy. She's not going to do anything on her end, so the question is really how I should handle this on my end. Do I build a life, leave in the evenings sometimes, to get her used to it again? It's incredibly stressful for me to leave now because I know she's home stressing, which panics me as well because I know she doesn't fully understand that it's irrational. I feel terrible for abandoning someone to sit at home, scared. That seems cruel. She told me once she was not going to put on her nightgown until I got back (it was only about 8:30 pm) because she was scared someone might look in the windows with her here alone. (I suggested she close the living room blinds, which she refused to do). My attempts to explain rationally why going down the street to get a head of lettuce after dark isn't dangerous, and that many people leave the house after dark all the time, fall on deaf ears. (No I don't live in the inner city, rather in a small safe retirement town. You are more likely to get run over by a golf cart than anything else). This is kicking off an old anxiety disorder for me, that I thought was long gone. Tonight I went to the store at 8pm and started feeling scared to walk through the (packed) parking lot. I'm so isolated now that the outside world is starting to feel very large and imposing to me. I have forgotten what it's like to feel normal and to live a normal life. I am not interacting with normal people on a daily basis, other than the occasional client. I am one who tends more toward adventure than confinement and am really not myself anymore. I am also in the process of seeking out some counseling so hopefully that will help. I fear my mental health will only continue to go downhill in this situation, as will what's left of any life I could have. Moving is not financially an option right now. Neither is hiring additional help and she would not be open to that anyway, she would be highly insulted. The main question for the board is, what's the best way to approach this with mom? Leave her at night? Stay home so she's not scared? Thank you.