My mom has early on set Alzheimer's and her behavior is making me question if I should stay or walk away?

You need an advocate and someone to help guide and support you through this very difficult disease. It does not get better for your mom or easier for you. My mom is older and has dimentia. We made the decision to move her from an independent care home to a memory care community. Your mom may not be there yet but start planning now. You have to get professional care for her. Face the fact that your brother will likely be unhelpful. Take the bull by the horns, with someone else to advocate for you.
My mom is safe, and engaged, and cared for. I am still her main family caregiver and her best friend. We have good days and bad days. Just do the best you can and ask for help. God Bless‼️‼️

All our friends have given you good advice. Think about all your options. Maybe she is eligible for some home care that could free you. You cannot be the only caregiver for 24/7. You will burnout. Others are trained to care for dementia patients. They are not emotionally involved so the screaming etc does not bother them. We are all in this land of caring with you. Courage!!

53 is still young if you're free to live your life. When I was 53, my father died suddenly. As an only child, I took full responsibility for my mother. Her doctor said my mother did not know me from a chair. I cared for her at home for the few weeks it too me to have her placed in a care facility. At the time, my children and stepchildren were teenagers and I was starting a new job. By leaving the care of my mother to others, I was able to remain with my employer until I retired at 62, take a pension from the employer and starting to collect Social Security. I do not regret my decision. Listen to the advice of the others here.

Listen to Sunnygirl's advice.
Before you take on the responsibility of caring for a parent be sure and have all legal documents your parents made reviewed by an attorney. Do not end up in the role of caretaker only to find out an uninvolved sibling can make the final health or financial decisions because of previously drawn up documents by your parents. Only take on the care taker role if you have full control over all decisions. I learned this lesson while taking care of my mother. Caring for your mother will be a full time job that family members usually do not appreciate. Get all the help you can.

Being a sole caregiver in a situation such as you described has been shown to be damaging mentally to the caregiver. You've already seen the effects on your health. It can also affect your brain. You say you gave up everything, not sure if that means a job, a home or what, but you are young and you need to think of your future. Will you have adequate earnings for social security? Retirement income? Being a good daughter does not mean one must be a martyr. Get your mom competent trained help or into a home. Relieve yourself of too much contact and get counseling to deal with her behavior and how to handle it for your MENTAL HEALTH.

You are a wonderful daughter and have taken the monumental jobs of dealing with a devastating illness and a predatory sibling. You deserve a break. If she has money to give to your sibling she has money for home care. If you decide to stay in the caregiver role, get the legal stuff in order. There is a lot to deal with and an attorney is recommended. Get your name on all her accounts. Get the checkbook away from mom before she bankrupts herself. Get her to a psychiatrist. Then get her home care for a month so you can breathe again. You must get relief and you must take care of yourself. Hugs to you and sincere best wishes to you on your journey.

Please seek crisis counseling? Do a search "Crisis Counselor - your city or zip" The situation you describe is very damaging to you. You love and respect your mother, and you must also love and respect yourself. Please do not ignore the abuse you are receiving?

How about getting her to a geriatric psychiatrist? See if meds for her agitation might help before you make a decision to wal away.

typo... they don't live in the sadness

Good morning, I don't have an answer for you. You have sacrificed and given and now it is turning on you. This happens. A lot. I had a friend tell me last week that 90% of caregivers who take in a relative full time end up being the one that is taken OUT of the will. You are her jailer. You know all the secrets. You are witness to every moment of clarity and confusion. And it is too much for anyone. I think if I were to do this over I would keep a third party close by. A trusted friend who could be at the house OFTEN with me. This person plays the buffer role. They can be removed and they can laugh, joke, play.... they live in the SADNESS so they can come and go and bring you energy. I hire a handyman for that role and a nurse for the day time to get away.

Here is my final thought. My father nearly died last week. I thought he was gone. BUT in that moment when I thought it was over I knew that all the struggle had been worth it. The pain of it faded away. The memories of the horror faded away.... and I felt peace. So now I can keep going. PLAN while you are in this. PREPARE while you are in this. You will still be here when she is gone. Love to you.

Are you her appointed Durable Power of Attorney? If not, is your mom still competent enough to appoint you? Would she do that? Or are you her court appointed Guardian? Without legal authority to act on her behalf through either a Durable POA or Guardianship, it's difficult to make decisions and act on behalf of another. And the way your brother is treating her will be challenging to deal with unless you have authority. He'll have to be dealt with.

It's really challenging to support and care for a person who has dementia. They are sometimes difficult, abrupt and resistant to care. I would think hard about the challenge of the responsibility.

I would get legal advice from an Elder Law attorney. If your mom ends up needing financial help from Medicaid for long term care, her house may be considered an asset and a lien place on it. I'd check to see if there are exceptions for keeping the house in the family, if an adult child resides in the home for a certain number of years providing care that keeps the patient in home. Someone learned in Medicaid rules will know all about that. I'd find out what the rules are, before making my decision. Some other poster around here probably know about that rule. Maybe they will chime in here.

Whether you stay is up to you, but I would learn a lot about what the disease entails and how difficult it is to provide around the clock care in the home for a dementia patient. I'd explore what help she may be entitled to and make plans for the future, with her help, if she still able to assist you. Is there anyone else in the family, who might be able to help you, besides your brother?