What can I do for my Mom's aggressive and angry behavior?

Truffles, I don't know what your experience with psychiatric drugs has been. Mine is that I would be long gone if I hadn't taken antidepressants for several years. I most certainly would have killed myself and at the time, the logical thing to do seemed to be to take my two young children along with me. So when my elderly mom started exhibiting the extreme anxiety, inability to cope with small issues and setbacks that. are often part of depression, I was able to have her seen by a geriatric psychiatrist who prescribed an ssri. She is now on an additional antidepressant and is not drugged in any sense of the word, any more than a diabetic is drugged when s/he takes insulin.

Truffles, these elderly have fatal diseases that is a stroke, heart attacks, UTI's are going to cause their death eventually. IMHO other sudden causes are much preferable to the slow, long decline of the disease. The behaviors that are controlled by psychotropics make the elder much more comfortable as well as those providing care. I cannot deny the benefits of healthy diet, exercise and fresh air but those alone in my case do not help my Mom feel comfortable.

Seroquel works great for my Mom. She has been on a 75mg dose once in the afternoon for sundowning. Wouldn't change it. Occasionally I need to also give her a xanax when she becomes agitated because two of her teenage girls have run off, gotten married, had children all without telling her! And grandchildren she has never met?! Horrors. Sorry, feeling a bit cynical tonight.

Think I will join Denny and others for that wine!

Truffles, my mom is 91, has had a stroke brought on by intractable hypertension. She has vascular dementia, probably Alzheimer's, congestive heart failure. BP problems were worsened by anxiety and depression. I agree that less is more when it comes to medications for the elderly. But at this point, it's the bp meds that they are able to cut down on. That's what causes mom to be dizzy. Remeron and zoloft have given my mom peace of mind and soul.

Moving her won't help. Dementia is a slippery down hill slope. Maybe stay away from her for a while so she has time to adjust and see if a change of meds would help.

There is really nothing you can do for the aggresive behaviour because if you try and curtail it it could get more combative, they could get more aggitated. They cant help it of course, they do not even realize it, their brains are not thinking properly like you or I, I know you know that but, they are not going to remember to behave them selves, it will not register. My advice would be to have them in a place where they can be safer and you will be safer. When an elder on has alzheimers and it begins to become combative like that, then, as much as it may hurt our feelings, they need to be placed in a Memory Care Facility, nursing home. Bless their hearts, they do not realize. It will NOT be like you are throwing them away. They may cry, they may cry there, they may cry when you visit and leave. But, they would be around nursing staff, caregivers, doctors. in the Skilled Nursing Facility. If she or he do not have the funds..which it is so expensive these places, then, you can apply for Medicaid, and they would quialify. If they have money now paying the full amont for the Skilled facility until you spend down the money they have in the bank or savings, it takes around 45 days or so to get approved. Having some one come in is really expensive, one has to be in a Skilled Nursing Facility in order for Medicaid to pick up that cost.

Never assume the facility is on the up and up and it's always your elder patient. Just a heads up for you. I have actually lived in a community with elderly. What I found was that most ppl put way too much trust in a facility even above their loved one while the loved one suffers alone.Just saying you really should not dismiss everything to disease before investigating further. Your mom may have legit concerns.

We are all in this together - I'm glad this website exists so that we can be reminded of that and maybe find some help for situations that seem overwhelming. Every time I read a post, I think "OMG that sounds just like what I'm going through with my mom". I am starting an informal "group" with two of my friends from church who also have a loved one with some form of dementia. We are going to talk, drink some wine, and just have time together with some one who KNOWS firsthand what we go through on a daily basis. Hang in there, everyone.

Good answer, ba8alou. My mom takes a low dose of Lexapro every morning. Without it, as soon as the sun began to go down, she got morose, depressed and just impossible to deal with. Because she no longer exhibits those symptoms, her life, and mine, are a less full of angst. I don't believe in drugging people until they become zombies, but there is help with pharmaceuticals.

JKayjr - talk to your social worker at the NH and ask for a care conference. The place my mom is at does them quarterly, and they last about 20 minutes.

If you have concerns in between conferences, then there should be a contact you can talk to. If not the social worker, then someone who is the designated person for family to speak to. Use this person to help figure out what's going on.

Sometimes Sundowning makes people become extremely disturbed, and it can start early in the afternoon. Nobody knows what it is exactly, but it is AWFUL to see. This might be a cause of your mom's behaviors.

It could be related to meds.
It could be a urinary tract infection nobody has found.
It could be pain.
It could be the dementia making physical changes in her brain.
It could be a nice combo platter of all of the above.

The only thing you can do is work with her doctor and the people in charge of her care to understand how to find the cause and what to do about it.

Ask the people who work there what the protocol is for someone in your mom's shape who may become disruptive, loud, angry, etc. I would want to know why they put her in her room, and what else they may have tried before that.
I mean they can't have somebody out in the middle of the common area screaming and swearing and being agitated. It gets others agitated and then there is a great big problem. Putting her in her room might be one of the ways they try to get upset people to settle. Ask how often she's checked on when that happens. I would think they would have a protocol for the aid workers to follow.

It's like trying to figure out what works with an upset toddler. Maybe they need less stimulation to settle. Maybe they need a nap, a change, a snack, or to just work it out of their system. It's entirely trial & error with human beings who aren't machines that follow a strict cause & effect diagram. Especially when brain change is afoot.

ALso, look at what you exect for care levels. If she is in a group setting in a NH, they are likly not staffed for a lot of one on one time. If you want her to have more individualized attention, maybe you need to look for smaller scale congretate housing. There are lots of choices out there these days and it boils down to what she can afford.