Dad died earlier this year and mom lives alone. Overall she is OK and can take care of herself but complains about hip and back pain and tiredness a lot. (she is 88, but overall fairly good shape). Nonetheless, she has bad hearing too and doesn't wear her hearing aids when she is home as she doesn't like them. So we call, and she doesn't answer often so we worry about her. We got her a safety pendant but refuses to wear it, saying her friends don't have them. We said maybe her friends don't complain about hip and back pain and being tired all the time, and they either hear phone ring when called or wear hearing aids so that she can hear phone ring.
My brothers and I have asked her to do this FOR US. So we don't have to worry if we call and she doesn't hear phone. But while she is an OCD people pleaser, straining to have the proper Christmas meal, give the most perfect presents, we say all we really want is for her to wear hearing aids and safety pendent so we don't have to worry as much. But she wont do it. Guess not much we can do - We cannot make her wear it.
You should feel not a moment of guilt over this.
Regret is when circumstances dictate outcomes.
You have no power in this situation, hence, no guilt.
The hearing aids stay in the bedroom and when I talk to her and she can't hear me she will then ask me to get them for her.
Don't feel guilty if you have done your best.
MORE SECURE NOW,BUT KEEP IN MIND YOU CAN ONLY DO SO MUCH.TRY
TO GO WITH THE FLOW
My dad refuses to use anything like that, as he sits there with a black eye saying he doesn't fall. Okay.
We can't force them to give up their idea of independence. You will read story after story here about the BIG incident that created change, usually a fall. I think for most people it is all good until it isn't and then we are forced to implement change.
Good luck and stop worrying so much, she doesn't answer the phone, you know that.