Mom refuses to talk to me since I moved her into Assisted Living. What should I do?

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I live 1300 miles away but she won't talk to me and hangs up the phone when I call her. Saying, "I don't want to talk with you". She is 96 years old and is very hard of hearing and almost blind, and has trouble walking. The doctors said she could not live in her apartment by herself. Has called 911 may times. Usually it is because she doesn't eat right and is dehydrated. She agreed to move but now she is upset with me. I did everything I could to make her new place familiar but I am cursed because no matter how I have tried to please her it is never enough.

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Surprise visit to address her grudges face-to-face. If she still hangs up on you after that, call and speak with AL staff instead. Don't drive yourself nuts. You've done the best you could with what you had.
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My MIL has always given people the "silent treatment."
She now lives with me and is bedbound and totally incontinent etc.
I am her full time caregiver and "room mate." (I am a widow).
When I try to engage in any conversation with her......I'm met with stone cold silence.
Here's what's hard for me:
I can't tell if it's the Alzheimer progression
or
if it's her anger.
She talks to her favorite people so I don't think it's the disease and that makes me feel worse.
When I try to talk to her I feel like an idiot cause my words just go into the air. So for now, I take good care of her but words are at a minimum.
I think she wants someone to blame for her situation - and I'm the "lucky one". Still, it hurts. And I wonder if it's somehow my fault.
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Keep in touch with the people who run the assisted living facility and see if they can find out what has upset her about the move. Also keep in touch with them to check on your Mom's welfare. She may be doing just fine but does not want to admit to you that you were right to move her. No way to know what is really going on but I agree with the above poster, give up calling for a while and send letters and cards and arrange for someone to read them to her if she can't read large print. Continue to be consistent. If you can afford it send flowers on appropriate occasions or other little gifts of favorite foods. Don't give up on her she still needs you this is just a little bit of rebellion to show she can still control her life.
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Are you an only child? If you are, my heart goes out to you. You did the right thing in getting your mom help, but she's angry that she's not able to take care of herself any more, and she's taking it out on you. You're in a no-win situation whichever way you went. Maybe with time your mom will soften and enjoy being around other people and having the help and regular food and care.

Does she have former neighbors or a clergy person or doctor or visiting nurse who might let her vent and help her gently understand that you did what you did because you love her and care about her? Or is she getting any kind of help at AL to adjust/acclimate? Does she meet with anyone there that might slowly help her understand why she needs care?

From your last sentence, it sounds like this may be a very old pattern with your mom, in which case you just need to acknowledge that you'll never be able to please your mom and turn to your friends for emotional support. Hugs to you...
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musiclady123 .. your mum is lucky to have you watching over her even if you are 1300 miles away. She will not stay angry forever. Would it be easier on you if she was in Assisted Living in the same city you live in? Regardless, you have nothing to feel guilty about, you did the right thing by placing her in AL for her safety if nothing else. Perhaps wait awhile before phoning her again and then see how she responds. All the best to you and your mum :-)
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It must be awful to be so old and not be able to reason that what is being done for you is for you own good. Like a little child, let her pout, let her have a hissy fit, let her do whatever it takes to make her feel good. But know that you are now the adult in charge of your parent who needs you to be an adult. Just try not to let it hurt you.
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