My dad has lost a lot of weight in the past six months, but says he doesn't want to go to the doctor. He often seems confused. Mom, who is an oppositional alcoholic, refuses to take him to the doctor. She was very ill earlier in the year with a giant abscess on the back of her head; I had to threaten to call an ambulance to get her to go to the doctor. She recovered well, but now says some odd things, like "I think I turned into someone else" or "I'm someone else now." That someone else is angry, aggressive, narcissistic and oppositional. Her alcoholism is not helping, nor are her delusions. She has decided on her own that dad has alzheimer's and she's going to handle it by herself; she refuses to even discuss going to a doctor. When I say I will have to take action if she doesn't, she says there is nothing I can do, she's in charge, mind my own business, go home and never come back, and the like. She's a bit of a handful... Dad absolutely needs to see a doctor, even the neighbors are asking about him as it is so obvious he is unwell. I called the family lawyer who was no help, he says my parents have not updated their documents since the 1990s, but they have told me several times they did so in 2003 when my brother died of a heart attack, so either they are misremembering, or the lawyer is trying to stay out of it. I have been advised by a friend who is a retired police officer to ask the police for a home wellness check which will trigger a social worker visit and may result in dad being taken to hospital, but mom has said if I call an ambulance she won't let them in, she'll refuse to let them take dad, and so on. I visit them 4-5 evenings per week after work, but have a suspicion they do not eat dinner on the nights I don't visit. Mom is naturally stubborn and aggressive to start with, and once she's had one drop of alcohol she turns verbally abusive and spends entire evenings reciting a long litany of resentments (mostly imagined) that stretch back to her infancy. She falls frequently and blames the dog for knocking her over, even if he isn't in the house. She can still balance her checkbook and pay the bills, and has a pretty clear idea of what's going on in the world, but cannot drive -- and I suspect this is the primary cause of her not wanting to take dad to the doctor -- he drives and if he goes to the hospital she will have to rely on me to get around, and she simply has never liked me very much - my brother was closer to her, but he had a heart attack and died when he was only 41. So it's up to me and my niece (who is in grad school in another state right now) to sort this out. I would like to help them stay in their home as long as possible, which probably means getting them some home care, but I'm worried if social services gets involved, that we lose the ability to determine what sort of care they get. I have read so many articles that I'm hopelessly confused about where to start, how to deal with an oppositional parent, how to get dad to the doctor. Advice?