HELP! Mom won't sleep and won't let me!! Any answers?

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Aren't people who are 94 years old supposed to sleep quiet a bit? My Mom, I have commented many times on here, went from sleeping 20-22 hours to practically nothing and won't take a nap either. She doesn't allow me to either. If I should accidentally doze off in my recliner, where I am supposed to set all day and evening so she knows my whereabouts at all times, she wakes me up by shaking me! She wears me out! I am at wit's end, because now it is getting to when my husband naps after he comes in from work, she is waking him up. We get up at 4:00 every morning, and on some mornings I have to put her to back to bed and even then she is up by daylight. Can't get her to go to bed, I'm guessing she is afraid she is going to miss something! Are all old people so nosy?? What I am wondering is there something that I could give her early in the evening to help her rest and sleep?? It's to the point of, heaven forbid, if I should go to my room and lay down on the bed to just rest in privacy or even disappear in the house for privacy!! She comes on the hunt of me. October will make me 3 years of caregiving and I am tired and worn out and my health is suffering from it. We have a lot of stress going on because my husband's job is ready to shut down at the end of the month, leaving us in a lot of financial binds. I need to go to work, but can't because I take care of Mom. I am at wit's end! Any answers?

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I have almost the same problem but with my next door neighbor. She would take little cat naps for maybe a half hour at the most and then thinks that it is a new day and wants to know where I went. She will call me on the phone and if I leave it off the hook, she starts knocking on our door which wakes the dogs up or calls the police thinking that a little chunky man with red shorts has done something to us. Tell her doctor what is going on and ask them to subscribe sleeping pills for her. Tell them that she has her days and nights mixed up or get ahold of social services and see if they can help or if her insurance will pay for someone to come in and watch over her for awhile. It is very hard but you have a lot of people pulling for you on here. Good luck.
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In last post I spoke about my mom's sleeplessness. After 4 straight sleepless nights and days (for both of us) I took her to the ER. She ended up on psych floor - was stuck in bipolar mania. (She has a lifelong bipolar history). Anyway, 10 days later she came home with lots of meds but it still took about 3 weeks to get her settled. It's still a problem but not as much. Takes Ativan, lithium, trazadone. Sometimes these meds make her worse! It's a fine line to tippy toe around. Whew!
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It's awful. My mom won't sleep either-for days and nights and days and nights. It's exhausting because she roams all over the house - tearing it apart, calling for me.................I'm not sleeping either. Sleeping meds make her even worse. She is 90 and never sleeps or sits still. AT ALL. I am going crazy.
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Agree with seeing the doctor and make sure some of the meds aren't screwing with her natural sleep/awake rhythms. My mom is 90 and same way, because she naps frequently during the day and up all night.

When I'm there I make sure she gets up early and then keep her on regular schedule including lots of physical activity. I limit her to short nap early afternoon.

Then we do a walk early eve. We have dinner and maybe a small glass of wine; and then a light snack, protein and maybe a sweet treat about an hour before bedtime. She falls asleep but doesn't stay asleep.

So we introduced a product called zzz-Quil which she takes. I turn the thermostat down to 69 and she sleeps very soundly thru the night.

Maybe some of this will help. Keeping her occupied, busy and active during the day is the only thing that helps my mom.
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chloe - the trap I innocently fell into when I was first taking care of my mom was that when she fell asleep, I could use that time to "get some things done" around the house or even work on some of my own personal things. The trouble is I accidentally exhausted myself because she was not a reliable nighttime sleeper and I couldn't rely on getting a full nights sleep myself. She was already on as much medication as she could be given for night time sleeping and it wasn't very effective. I had to learn my lesson and do what you posted just above, whenever she went to sleep, I had to train myself to go lay down then, just, as you say, like you must do with the baby.
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Yes, please, get some help so you can get some sleep...I know what lack of sleep does to me; I can't think, I can't talk, and I am crabby! Once you get back into your normal sleep patterns, you will be feel better and be able to help better. Not getting enough sleep is physically dangerous. Peace and best wishes.
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Could you get some volunteer help from church or senior center to come and visit with her while you sleep? The Alzheimer's Association has some money that you could get to pay someone to spend some time with her so you could rest. Sleep deprivation is literally a form of torture! Please beg, plead, and ask for help! Would your mom want you to kill yourself? I don't think so and being a caregiver without help would kill anyone. Thanks for all that you are doing!
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Thanks to everyone for your helpful answers. Sounds like I am not alone in this situation. Just got Mom out of the hospital after a 10 day stay of pneumonia and a heart attack, which they never expected her to make it out of the hospital. Hopefully, she will be sleeping some, but as of now, not a whole lot to brag about. Her doctor doesn't want to give her anything to help her sleep and they wouldn't in the hospital either. Something about confusion and not being steady on her feet and maybe falling. I tried the melatonin, didn't even phase her. The only time she even slept in the hospital was when they thought she wasn't going to pull through. I left my daughter with her and left for a little bit and came back and she was back to life again. I think this is the 5th time she has beat pneumonia and death, that they always tell me to prepare for. She is unbelievable, but am I ever worn out. The social worker was making plans to get her home health and get me some help, that was when she was so bad and when she started improving and was discharged yesterday, I've never heard another word. Everyone that is close to me thinks I am some kind of miracle worker and don't need help, so rather than beg, plead and ask for help, I will do it myself, and sleep when she does like when you have a baby. Thanks again!
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The first thing I would recommend of course is to see her doctor. There are medications that can help, but before you go the pharmaceutical route, there are more natural supplements you can try. Ask her doctor about melatonin. My best friend, who is caregiving for his 83 year old mother with stage 6 Alzheimer's disease found melatonin to be a very good solution with no side effects, since melatonin is a substance that naturally occurs in the body. As we age, our production and use of it can change which can interrupt sleep. If you try that for a couple of weeks and it doesn't work for her, you can try some of the more advanced medications others have recommended like ambien, seroquel, or many others. Your health which is already suffering can only get worse if you don't sleep. Your immune system is taking a beating from lack of sleep!
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I am caregiver to my mother in law. She wasn't sleeping when she first came here. We have her on Xanex, Ambien and Riserdal. She now sleeps. Thank the lord. The hospice team had to go through trial and error till they found what worked, but talk to her doctor or health care team and explain the problem they should be able to help you.
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