Dr put her on a pill to take at night. It’s to make her hungry and put weight on. She just wants to go back to bed. We are worried she is starving herself.
Sounds like MIL has dementia, if she has not been diagnosed as such you / your husband should get her to a Neurologist. Her brain is not sending the signal that she is hungry. You can not "force" her to eat And if placed in Memory Care they can not "force" her to eat either. You can encourage her to eat. Start offering high calorie foods. Drinks like Boost, Ensure, Premier and many of the others are good supplemental drinks if she is not eating meals. Is the reason she is only taking 1 or 2 bites because she is having a problem swallowing? If so mincing food, pureeing food might help. BUT you have another hurdle. How to reestablish the proper relationship between you, your husband and MIL? Discuss with the doctor what is going on, medications might help. But your husband should be more assertive. It is very possible that placing MIL in Memory Care would be the best option for you if you want to resume a normal marriage. Part of what you describe sleeping more,. eating less is very common with dementia and eventually it will lead to EOL (End of Life) You might want to get Hospice in to help. A nurse will come weekly, a CNA will come 2 or 3 times a week to bathe, dress, change bedding and order supplies. You would also get the equipment and supplies that are needed to care for her.
It is time for you to place your mother in the best residential care setting you can find for her.
You and your husband deserve to live together, and take care of each other.
Your mother is behaving inappropriately because she has dementia. Her behavior will not improve, and she will continue to need more and more care.
You will need to find out if she is eligible for Medicare, or if she has assets to fund the care she needs. You may also need to consult a lawyer unless you already have her POA.
If someone refuses to eat she cannot be “made” to eat without causing serious problems to both you and your mother.
It may be helpful for you to contact her doctor and let her know what is happening if he is willing to talk to you. If she has not had an evaluation for dementia, she needs one right away.
Suggest to your husband that it’s no use trying to convince her of anything. Her brain is broken and she can’t hear well. He will not be able to change her by explaining to her or talking to her.
I hope you are able to get help from the doctor for your very difficult situation.
https://www.virtualhospice.ca/en_US/Main+Site+Navigation/Home/Topics/Topics/Final+Days/When+Death+is+Near.aspx
I'm not saying this is definitely where you are but it is something to keep in mind.
Her brain is not sending the signal that she is hungry.
You can not "force" her to eat And if placed in Memory Care they can not "force" her to eat either.
You can encourage her to eat.
Start offering high calorie foods.
Drinks like Boost, Ensure, Premier and many of the others are good supplemental drinks if she is not eating meals.
Is the reason she is only taking 1 or 2 bites because she is having a problem swallowing? If so mincing food, pureeing food might help.
BUT you have another hurdle.
How to reestablish the proper relationship between you, your husband and MIL? Discuss with the doctor what is going on, medications might help. But your husband should be more assertive.
It is very possible that placing MIL in Memory Care would be the best option for you if you want to resume a normal marriage.
Part of what you describe sleeping more,. eating less is very common with dementia and eventually it will lead to EOL (End of Life)
You might want to get Hospice in to help. A nurse will come weekly, a CNA will come 2 or 3 times a week to bathe, dress, change bedding and order supplies. You would also get the equipment and supplies that are needed to care for her.
You and your husband deserve to live together, and take care of each other.
Your mother is behaving inappropriately because she has dementia. Her behavior will not improve, and she will continue to need more and more care.
You will need to find out if she is eligible for Medicare, or if she has assets to fund the care she needs. You may also need to consult a lawyer unless you already have her POA.
If someone refuses to eat she cannot be “made” to eat without causing serious problems to both you and your mother.
It may be helpful for you to contact her doctor and let her know what is happening if he is willing to talk to you. If she has not had an evaluation for dementia, she needs one right away.
Suggest to your husband that it’s no use trying to convince her of anything. Her brain is broken and she can’t hear well. He will not be able to change her by explaining to her or talking to her.
I hope you are able to get help from the doctor for your very difficult situation.
Just read your profile. You have more than nutrition to be concerned about!
Speak with her doctor. Sounds like she needs meds adjusted.