My mom is not in need of intensive caregiving (yet) as she is still mobile, but she has been driving less and less, and often needs rides to her appointments and errands, etc. This trend will no doubt increase over time.
Unfortunately, she relies almost exclusively on one of her two daughters (me) to take time off from work to take her to appointments, to pick up needed items, run errands, give her financial support, etc. My sister -- who lives just 10 minutes away and does not have any family of her own to take care of -- is rarely asked to help out. When I ask my mother why she can't ask my sister for help more than just once in a great while, my mom hurriedly changes the subject. ("I'll just ask the neighbor if you can't do it!")
My sister tends to be totally uninvolved/estranged with other members of our family (while I am in contact with everyone). However, this is not the case with our mom; lines of communication are open and there is no feud or anything like that. It's just that Mom seems to see us totally unequally when it comes to helping her. I think my mother is afraid to ask my sister for help (which she claims not to be). I would just like my mom to contact my sister once in a while to arrange transportation, so that it isn't always me having to ask for time off work. (I'm the easily available daughter who's made out of money; while my sister is poor, struggling and SO, SO busy with her side projects -- or so my mom seems to think.)
My mom sometimes has used the local senior transportation option, which is free, but she sometimes balks from this because she is nervous about some of the drivers. Then she's back to asking me to take her -- never my sister.
Things need to change, and there is no "outside observer" in our small family to step up and make my mom understand that she has another daughter who can ALSO help her and SHOULD be asked more often than she is. (My mom dismisses my unhappiness with this situation; and as I don't want it to turn into an ugly "Why does my sister get away with murder while I have to do everything, etc etc" squabble, I usually don't push it very hard.)
What can I do to clue my sister in that she really needs to step up and reach out to my mom more (and ask "is there anything you need")? I've tried telling her this, but her attitude is "Mom can call me at any time" -- but my mom never will do that.