Mom has wondered off to the mini market and found a way to buy cigarettes.

Wow! Your response to my response is much more enlightening on what you are dealing with in terms with your mothers smoking. This is indeed a safety issue. If at all possible for all concern I would have her placed in a assisted living locked down care facility where she can't get out at night and can't get her hands on anything to light cigarettes and possibly burn down your home or anything else around you.

Hi, it doesn't sound to me like your mom is safe at home. Do you have plans in place for assisted living or a nursing home? I would get her doctor involved right away. I hope you can find a place where she will be allowed to smoke, if that's what she needs. I don't smoke myself, but I have friends who do and they have told me its one of the hardest addictions to give up. I don't even want to give up my diet coke and ice cream habit :) and one of my fears for the future is the loss of control over what and when I can eat or drink.

So I hope you can find a solution where she can keep smoking, but her safety needs to be first priority. Setting fires and wandering away from home are pretty dangerous.

What exactly do you want for your mother? After 4 strokes she is high risk, but she is entitled to live her life , for what ever time is left at her own pace. You can make house rules in the interests of safety for all, but if she desires a smoke - then allow her to be the adult . Quality of life is more important than quantity,

We have tried to say so many cigs a day, but she will be smoking one and ask for another, and she been off cigs for over year so she should not be with drawaling. She has burn holes in her carpet by her bed, in her blankets, dishes like plastic cups, bowls she puts cigs out on paper plates, in plasic bottles. She has burned holes in our cars. The last time she had a cig under supervision she started a fire in the walmart parking lot, she used a car battery for an ash try. She lives in a moble home. She been off cigs now for almost 2 years and no one smokes in front of her. When we tried to do the so many cigs a day it caused more fights and we thought she was going to have a heart attack she gets so mad at any thing you tell no about. She has dementia for 3 years now. Sometimes its real battle for us. Oh yes and she has started a fire in the trash can at the house. She forgets about any deal. She also has put plasitc dishes in the oven 4 times now. We had remove the knobs from the stove and oven.

Is there a possibility of having a doctor prescribing her the nicotine patches to help her with the withdrawals she is experiencing? Or would they to contribute to conditions of her stroke? Maybe you could make a compromise with her and say " Mom, before we go to bed you will be allowed X number of cigarettes and after that no more" , and see if she will agree to it. That way she is being treated like an adult and you are also making sure that she is being supervised. No, she is STILL smoking, but at this point I'm not sure that you're going to win this war. You might want to just pick your battles a day at a time.

I agree with the Captain but the fact is your mom has had four strokes and should not wander off alone or have access to matches and cigarettes. Locking the doors at night as far as I know is not illegal as long as you are not locking her up in jail. Many caregivers have to do that so they can sleep at night. One lady I knew pushed her recliner up against the door and slept in that because her advanced AL husband was such a Houdini. As far as smoking is concerned it certainly should be given up and is a major health hazard but ask yourself what are you trying to do at this stage? Protect your Mom or make yourself feel better because quitting is good for her. She's had a cigarette now so the addiction will be back. If you allow her to smoke it must be supervised and the cigarettes locked up when not in use. Taking the matches away is not enough she will find a way to light up. Your Mom is on the last stage of her journey in life so keep her safe and don't endanger others (car crash) but make life as pleasant as you can for her. The likelihood of another final stroke is so high that doing things that are "good' for her have little value.

if you lock me in the house all night youll awake to an angry tobacco addict sized hole in your wall. smoking is being blamed for everything from erectile dysfunction to balcony collapse. im just sayin dont treat your mother like a child, youll only make yourself an enemy.