My mom has dealt with mental illness (depression, anxiety and paranoia) for most of her life. but rarely takes medication for any of it. She and my dad still live in their house, and my dad has Alzheimer's, so she's taking care of both herself and him. Everything is completely overwhelming to her, and I just feel like it would be slightly better if she'd treat her mental issues (I realize caring for a spouse with Alzheimer's is overwhelming anyway, I really do. But it has got to be worse when you're doing it from such a bad position in the first place). Most recently, she decided my husband and I were somehow "using" her (we do nothing but help her, take to doctor appointments, arrange for their grass to be cut, go over to change light bulbs, etc. etc.), but somehow she got it in her head that we've been doing something - I don't know what - behind her back. I find that after a lifetime of this kind of thing, I am getting totally fed up with trying to be compassionate because I know it's the illness speaking, and not her. I also know that it's part of the illness that refuses to let her acknowledge it. At the same time, I don't know how to help someone who won't help herself, and I find myself getting more mad at her than anything else. Also - and just as importantly - I worry about my dad, because I know she's not taking care of him as well as he might need her to. Any advice? Anyone else have a situation like this? Is it possible to relieve the guilt of feeling mad at my mentally ill mother, or is it just guilt that has to be lived with?