What's the living situation with your mother. How long has she lived with you, how did she come to live with you, what are her finances, what do you have to do for her, did you give up a job to take care of her, etc.?
Where does your brother live? Do you have other siblings?
Michelle, your mother is only 76 and may live another 20 years. Behavior like this will ruin a large chunk of your own life. Stop putting up with it! Mother needs to leave. If there is no other choice, start checking out Medicaid. Talk to your own doctor about the stress on you. If you can’t talk WITH her doctor because of privacy, you can still give her doctor details about her behavior, her murder threats, and your own need to have back your house and your life.
Michelle - I think you should contact her doctor and tell him/her about the sundowning and threats/accusations. My mom went through a stage where she accused people of taking and stealing her things and she was extremely unpleasant to be around. That stage passed eventually. But in your mom's case, you said she was like that all your adult life, probably worse now with dementia. Hopefully, her doc can prescribe some calming med that can subdue her behavior to a tolerable level.
I copied and pasted what you wrote in another thread so that others can have some background on your situation.
"Wow, seems I'm not the only one with a mom like mine. Sorry for us all, but less lonely knowing I'm not the only one. My mom's cat got tangled in a child's soccer goal net earlier today and my brother had to get it freed. Mom said my dog came in and scared it trying to kill it. My dog was in my room with me and neither she, nor my brother's dog barked. Since then, likely due to mom's freaking out, her cat has been in hiding, probably behind the armoire in her room or the one in the livingroom where she feels safe and gets in through openings in the back. Fast forward about 7 hours (sundowning), mom's been hunting throughout the house for said cat. I went in her room to check on her (no good deed) and she starts yelling that her cat is dead, but nowhere in sight, and my dog killed it, so now she's informing me that she is going to kill my dog and me. What joy. I hate to even joke, but sometimes I wish she would so it could just end. Me, not my dog. Not sure I can take much more of her slowly killing me with the venom she's spewed toward me my entire adult life"
Wow! How advanced is her dementia? Do you think it's a credible threat or just the rantings of someone with dementia? Sounds like she could benefit from some additional meds.
She sounds like a nasty abuser, IMO, a must miss.
Explore all your option for her.
What's the living situation with your mother. How long has she lived with you, how did she come to live with you, what are her finances, what do you have to do for her, did you give up a job to take care of her, etc.?
Where does your brother live? Do you have other siblings?
I copied and pasted what you wrote in another thread so that others can have some background on your situation.
"Wow, seems I'm not the only one with a mom like mine. Sorry for us all, but less lonely knowing I'm not the only one. My mom's cat got tangled in a child's soccer goal net earlier today and my brother had to get it freed. Mom said my dog came in and scared it trying to kill it. My dog was in my room with me and neither she, nor my brother's dog barked. Since then, likely due to mom's freaking out, her cat has been in hiding, probably behind the armoire in her room or the one in the livingroom where she feels safe and gets in through openings in the back. Fast forward about 7 hours (sundowning), mom's been hunting throughout the house for said cat. I went in her room to check on her (no good deed) and she starts yelling that her cat is dead, but nowhere in sight, and my dog killed it, so now she's informing me that she is going to kill my dog and me. What joy. I hate to even joke, but sometimes I wish she would so it could just end. Me, not my dog. Not sure I can take much more of her slowly killing me with the venom she's spewed toward me my entire adult life"