My mom is 83 with later-stage dementia. She has recently begun to speak in exaggerated baby-talk. It doesn't stop her from hurling insults and making very hurtful comments to me and my husband. We left our home to come live with her and take care of her. I have two brothers - neither of them lift a finger to help, yet they've both questioned me about "what Mom included for them in her Will". Mom’s house and assets were placed into a trust, and will pass on to me upon her death. I have POA as well. She left my brothers a little money in her life insurance policy. But that’s it. They live in different states and made it clear they “weren’t able” to help.
Also, if I try to discuss anything of importance, or I even gently ask if she could cut down on her hurtful remarks to me - she begins to wail loudly, and pretends to cry (not a single tear), building up to a dramatic crescendo if she doesn't get the attention she seeks. I've stopped responding to these phony outbursts, and when she realizes I'm not falling for it - she abruptly stops, and returns peacefully to her TV show, newspaper or whatever she was doing.
I'm beginning to feel both resentful and guilty. She's my mom and I want to take care of her. She begged and cried until my husband and I agreed to come stay with her. Her home is larger than ours and has a spacious guest room for us to use, but we do still have a home of our own to take care of - we don't "need to be here" as she seems to believe, and she's certainly not "taking care of two adults" as she constantly jots down in little notes which she leaves laying all around the house. Though I realize the dementia is progressing, I am feeling like she's being extremely manipulative, and she knows what she's doing. Between the daily tasks of seeing to her care, doing the housekeeping, cooking, laundry, running her errands, answering the same dozen questions OVER AND OVER literally every five minutes, and that God awful baby talk - I am at my wit's end. It's affecting my marriage and my health. I myself am living with Lupus, diabetes, hypertension, and trying to recover from a Laminectomy (spine surgery) with a Lumbar Fusion. Needless to say, it's a WHOLE LOT!
What should I do? Is it time to consider memory care in assisted living? Or am I over reacting? I need your thoughts, everyone.