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Anyone have advice about what to do about mom thinking there is another woman in the house because of her reflection? At first I got past it and just accepted it as something that seemed to make her happy, BUT now she seems to think that woman is not such a good woman and seems like she is getting scared. I know I am supposed to simply cover the mirrors but we have a LOT of mirrors in our house! Mirrors coupled with other reflective things are literally in every room in multiple locations. Any other way around this?


Any advice at all is appreciated. Thx

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Cateyes, my mom had chronic UTIs as well. She also became combative. She wound up tied to the bed in the hospital because she kept tearing out her IVs. That led to her evaluation and subsequent placement. A nurse told me that poor hygiene “down there” is a leading cause of chronic infections.

Mom also tried to recognize herself in the mirror and couldn’t. To say it was sad is an understatement. My mom’s “nosedive” was also sudden and rapid. And unfortunately there is nothing that can be done.
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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Rather than covering the mirrors, could you try ‘painting’ them. A very weak flour and water paste should reduce the reflection and make them less eye-catching, even if it doesn’t block them completely. It also washes off very easily with plain water if and when you want to get rid of it. It might help if you can’t remove all of them.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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Goes to the bathroom all day long... as in... which type of bathroom-going, if I can put it like that? Does she need investigating for possible gut infections, do you think?

Also, although of course you want to make sure her diet is optimum, is it possible there were too many changes a bit too fast? Maybe a gentler adjustment might be the way to go. Little tweaks rather than sudden cures, kind of thing.

Poor mother, but poor all of you as well. Time was I might have said something pious and annoying like "they lash out through fear*, you must soothe and comfort and reassure them, you know" - but my daughter tried that on a lady in ER and got bitten. So that taught me, as well as her. Rule #1 - keep out of biting range.

* this can be true. But I now try to be less pious and annoying about it.
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Reply to Countrymouse
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This sounds a lot like my Dad, he just does not recognize himself anymore. It does not help that he looks just like his Dad who he is angry with(poor Grandad passed 40years ago) I found that out just asking why then got a small mirror just big enough to see to shave, maybe enough to put lipstick on? You are not alone hon
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Reply to DixieCz
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My mom talks to that lady in the mirror and tells me she and her mom had a great talk! I believe she looks at the reflection and thinks it's her mom, not her. It calms her and only becomes a problem when "they" strongly disagree with me or we have to find her. I have an urge to tell her grandma always agrees with me…
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Reply to maryt5
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No advice, just a lot of sympathy and a couple of ideas...

What is happening in your mother's head, I wonder. Could there be visual changes that make these reflections jump out at her more? Might it be worth seeing if an eye test reveals any change in her functional sight?

Could you alter the lighting in her rooms?

If she has favourite pictures or photographs, can you make those more prominent so that her attention is caught by them instead of reflections?

What about other distractions - a toy pet, a doll, something she can interact with.

Has her mental state been assessed recently? If there has been a change in her behaviour, say for example she is now obsessively seeking out this mystery lady, perhaps something can be done to relieve her anxiety about it.

I'm sure others will have tried and tested techniques for you; hope this is helpful just to be going on with.
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Reply to Countrymouse
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Cateyes Nov 6, 2018
Thx! You really gave me a lot of good ideas there! I will try some of them too!
-- Update: shortly after the mirror thing started she got another UTI and became mean again! This time she even became violent! She literally balled her fist up and swung hitting me 3 times in my shoulder/arm area before I could blink! I then called her doctor, took her to the ER and made sure the UTI was gone from the 7 day round of antibiotics and it was. I thought for sure she still had it because those uti's make her mean as the devil. But since that was not it and the doctor has no explanation for the sudden onslaught of violence while not having a uti, It is killing me not knowing what is making her deteriorate so quickly! I mean we have pumped every expensive vitamin in her, changed her diet to a very healthy one & followed doctors orders to a Tee! Yet she just took a nose dive! She is just getting over her 3rd uti. She had one when we got her and 2 since. I understand now why uti's often kill them, because I just can't see me being able to keep her cleaned down there. She goes to the b/r all thru the day. How am I supposed to do that? I can try but it will only take her wiping incorrectly one time and here we go again. Anyway, as for the violence? I am now thinking it is hereditary, as she had a brother that had dementia and eventually had to be committed to a psych ward due to his violent tendency, plus her other brother that is still 100% ok told me she had told him just after she found out she was sick that she just hoped she didn't ever get mean like her brother did.
So as for now the doctor had to prescribe anti-anxiety meds and sleeping pills as she has also stopped sleeping. I hate seeing her under those meds but if I miss a dose to see how she does w/o them she goes right back to being hateful. Which is the only thing that would make me have to give up on taking care of her.
Anyway, I have not said half of what I feel I need to so that you can paint a complete picture here, but I have to go for now. (such as we covered the mirrors and she uncovered them.........and now she even thinks the man on the tv screen is in her room, ect...... I could go on......... bye for now.)
Breaks my heart for sure............... I feel so helpless and hopeless right now. I love and miss my sweet mother for sure. I knew it would not be easy but never dreamed it would be this hard so soon. :(
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