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Hello. I just found this group and am so happy. I love some of the ideas for the issue I'm having with my mom, great advice. We are considering moving her bed downstairs and a monitor to see if this helps. I also considered adding a door before the stairway, my thought is mom will have access to a bathroom. We would install a smart door lock and program the door lock around 10pm to 8am. We could then use the app to unlock if necessary. We have security cameras in her house on every floor we constantly keep an eye on mom during the day. What is your opinion on the smart door lock and new a new door? Thanks!

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As the others have said, it's probably not safe for your mother to live alone anymore. The risks of a fall, leaving the stove on, wandering out or letting in someone who she shouldn't, etc will continue to increase. Don't try to move her in with yourselves, either, because the same risks will be present there, with added confusion over the new location. I know it's a big decision and change to make, but start looking into memory care facilities. Let us know how it goes.
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Reply to MG8522
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I’m not comfortable with your mom alone in her house no matter what security measures you install. When they get to the stage where she is now, they must have someone with them 24/7, and not just WITH them and asleep or on their phone, but vigilant. Things can happen in an instant, things you wouldn’t imagine, even with multiple safeguards.

Please start planning to place mom. She needs a team of caregivers in a locked memory care unit. Not your house or a cottage in a sibling’s back yard, but a place where professionals know how to handle her issues.

I’m so sorry this is happening.
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Reply to Fawnby
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Is Mom living with you or on her own.

I would move her downstairs and make the stairs unaccessible. I am in a split level. My Mom's room was in the lowest level of the house. She had a bathroom down there. It was her bedroom and sitting room. There was a backdoor that made it easier to get her in and out of the house to the cars. I had a baby cover on the door knob so she could not excape. I had a baby gate across the bottom of the steps so she could not wander around at night.

Eventually I had to place Mom. My house was not conducive to someone who can't do stairs. I found her a nice AL. It was one floor and set up that she could wander as much as she wanted. The hallway always came back to the common area.
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Bogeyluck1 Sep 12, 2025
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I agree with Daughterof1930 that installing barriers and locks won't register a signal to give up on "escaping" to someone with dementia. My 100-yr old Aunt who couldn't walk without assistance/support escaped the barriers around her bed and fell and broke her hip in her own home. In rehab she still attempted to get out of bed with a broken hip and mind.

One thing you could do for now is to put her mattress on the floor (assuming she can't get up on her own) or getting a concave mattress to also make this more difficult for her.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Wandering in dementia patients is both frustrating and dangerous. My aunt, while living with Alzheimer’s, escaped every lock, and they were extensive, and wandered her neighborhood in the night emptying out her jewelry box all over. Thankful she was found safe and had kind neighbors who returned their unexpected gifts. Please consider the safety beyond an extra door or more locks and cameras. With a broken mind, many possibilities are possible. Sorry you’re going through such a tough time
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Bogeyluck1 Sep 12, 2025
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