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My mom has Alzheimer for the last 6 years now. My father is at home and taking care of her and her needs. I visit and do my best to provide her with other necessities. I take her for medical check up every 4 months. She's on cholesterol and Alzheimer medication. Most of the times it such a hard task for my dad to give her meds. I really feel sorry for my dad who finds it so difficult to give her meds daily. At times I see my dad very sad as he sees my mother deteriorating day by day. It's hard for as well to see my mother like these as she was such a brave , vibrant and full of love and independence. She has lost a lot weight and looks like a 90 year old person . She's only 66. Is this normal ?

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Hi thanks for you concern and feedback. I am very much involve. I am the one who takes her to the geriatrician every check up for the past 1 year now.As for her appetite the doc did give her some multi vit n I bought her ensure ( complete balance nutrition). I am doing all I can and practically am involve. She does not want to stay with me as we tried but she insist she wants to how back to her place(dads). She will keep pestering me or get so upset about it. My dad is not alone as he lives with my brothers. My older bro is very much involve but he is working and does not come with me for the check ups. He tries his best to help me unlike my other brother. In that sense my fathers health is fine n gas no illness except I wish my mom would stay with me for awhile. I can't be with her full time as I have to run about for my kids school n all. Than I need to drag her with me. It's not as easy as it seems. My dad is at home n hardly moves in or out of the house it's much easier for him. She misses my dad if he us missing even for an hour.
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Early onset dementia must be heart-breaking to see. It would be extra sad if your father's health was also ruined. The family needs help.

Ask your local area council on aging what resources are available in your community. Ask the doctor for a referral to a social worker with expertise in dementia. Maybe even a visit from Hospice might give you access to experts and volunteers to take some of the burden off your father.

Ask about medication to increase her appetite. Consider taking her to a geriatrician, who would have more expertise. Your father, being male, may think he should be able to handle it all. Ask him to come and post here to get some support, and do your best to get him more help.

I don't know how involved you are - maybe you already do tons to help. Just saying, I wish I had taken more time off work to stick my nose into my mother's medical care. We feel guilty about work - And we can't afford to lose our jobs! - but if you need to get more involved, you will be glad you did, even if the boss gets a little upset. No offense intended. Just sharing my regret.
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Hi ,
Thank you for your comments and it's definitely helpful. Yes my mother was diagnosed just 4 years ago but she had early sign of dementia at 2007 . We actually took her to neurologist and did a MRI in 2009. That's when the doc confirmed she had Alzheimer's few years ago.You are so right sometimes it really frustrates me and my family when she refuse medication and I feel so sorry for my dad as she kicks a big fuss about taking them. I come to a stage where I might discuss the next visit with the doctor about the alzheimer meds. Should we continue or not. her cholesterol was at 8. The doctor worries about stroke and other health problems if the cholesterol is not monitored. He suspected sometime ago she might had a mild stroke as her speech was affected . He says there's no way her speech was affected due to Alzheimer. So I am really not sure and it's really sad to see her like these. At times I wish God would just take her way as I see my dad who cares for her is suffering mentally and her mood swings is so erratic. she scolds him a lot . It's so hard and it affects the family a lot. None of our relatives nor my mums family members visit her. We don't depend on anyone for support but it's so painful to see her deteriorating day by day.
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Her behavior and condition does not seem "normal" but common for someone with dementia. Age 60 is very early for Alzheimer's. I am very sorry for your family.

Do you know why your mother resists taking her meds? Is it hard to swallow? Is she paranoid about what they will do to her? If you can figure out the reason that may help you overcome it.

We got to a point where my husband's pills had to be crushed. The best medium for the crushed powder was grape soda. The strong flavor helped mask the taste and the fizz seemed to help them dissolve. I used a small amount of soda -- about an inch in a small glass, and then gave my husband a glass of plain grape soda, if he wanted it.

Discuss with her doctor whether any of her pills could be discontinued. In the present circumstances is it worthwhile to continue the cholesterol med? Are the dementia drugs helping? I am a very big believer in medications, but only if they work. Especially if it is difficult to get the patient to take drugs, it is important to prioritize what is valuable and what is less important.
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