My Mom somehow winds up with my Dad's rx medicine in her drug box and swears she didn't put it there. What do I do?

Cathy, I'm afraid it is no longer safe for your mother to manage her own medicines, or to manage your father's. Someone else needs to fill their weekly boxes and make sure that Mother only has access to her own.

Filling my husband's box was quite a chore -- he took more than 20 separate pills over the course of 4 sessions a day. One of our daughters came over to fill two weekly boxes every two weeks. That was a huge help to me.

This is usually a problem as we age and become less able to read the fine print on the bottles, get the lids off, pick up tiny pills and select the correct compartment to drop the pill into. Added to that the new packages that you have to figure out how to open and the push the pill out (then find it when it suddenly flies across the room)
Now add to all that even a little confusion and you have the perfect storm.
The obvious solution is for someone else to fill the pill box.
Print out a list off the medications for each person in large print then the patient can read exactly the pills and doses. There may be pills that need to be split or different doses used on different days.
Any pills that are prescribed in a larger dose tablet to save money but need to be split for the correct dose should all be split when a new bottle is obtained. Sometimes a friendly pharmacist will do this or you can buy a simple pill cutter which contains safe concealed razor blade and makes an acurate cut. Put new labels on the bottle in big print with the name of druges, doses and times so they are easy for anyone to read. Don't obscure the original label.
This couple is no longer safe to be trusted with their own medications.
The safest thing is to remove all medications and provide prefilled boxes once a week. A list of each persons medications must be left in the home for emergencies. I would post one list on the fridge along with DNA paper if in existance. Each person should have a list of their own medications carried in a purse or wallet that can be given to medical professionals.A caregiver who is with the patient should also carry the list,DNA Poa etc and emergency contacts. A medic alert bracelet or necklace is also helpful and can be a life saver.
A loved one in the transitional stages of later life who is still relatively independent may feel that they ar being over controled. The caregiver can still carry lists and documents so they are readily available.
I will admit to some of the above problems and fill my pill box once a week. I have tried to get my husband to do the same and purchased a pill box. He does miss doses at times and has taken evening pills in the morning and slept all day. Closely guards his medications so I have no list. Every Dr visit he throws numerous bottles in plastic bags and heads off for some poor nurse to sort out and compare with his records. He is far from incompetent at this time but can become anxious and confused. For example this morning he had an 8 am appointment for a state inspection on his car. The service station is a five minute drive. He was up and dressed by 6.45 and left by 7.40. There is no way he would allow more supervision at this stage. I do manage money and mail or bills get buried and genuinely forgotten. When the driving gets eratic he will actually willingly hand over the wheel. This progression is such a process for everyone and an older caregiver may be experiences their own health problems. I do keep my meds completly seperate in a zippered bag so there is no change of mistakes there.

I love it too. It's called Philips Medication Dispensing Service.
Phone 1888-632-3261. That is their number for everything. I call this number to order the little boxes when I run low.
(the only thing Mom can come up with is "there was 13 pills in my box and I took
Some out.") I don't believe that. I am extremely careful. But she has to find a way to say "the sky is falling". Typical of her.

Does anyone stay with them? Your mother has dementia, so probably cannot be totally trusted with medications. Is there anyone who can help them with their medications so that she does not get them confused?

My mother was so bad with her medicines that I had to finally wrestle control of them away from her. I had to do it stepwise, because her medicines were a huge control issue for her. It took a couple of overdoses to get her to comply with me taking charge of them. A pillbox doesn't work with her any better than the bottles themselves. The ones with alarms would be pointless, since she would ignore the alarms. I have to give them to her before each pill time. I keep them in my room, with the ones she would be most likely to abuse hidden away. I live with her, so I can do this. I admit it gets a little old going through it 2 or 3 times each day, but it needs to be done that way.

I just typed out a list of my mother's medications, what meal she has them with, which ones at bedtime, which ones can't be too close together and which are discretionary… it ran to a closely-typed full page. Ran through the notes with the senior worker at the respite care home she's staying at this week, and I was just patting myself smugly on the head about how clearly she'd got hold of the information when she hurried back into my mother's room to ask if I had the spare Citalopram with me because there was only one left in the packet. I closed my eyes, the better to visualise the new packet where I'd left it, safely stowed in the kitchen cupboard, sixty miles away in heavy traffic. Thanks to endlessly helpful and understanding staff at our GP's in-house dispensary, and staff at this respite care home who really know their job, the problem was solved with a few phone calls and a large helping of initiative on the part of several people before I set off for home. I will send them all special cookies at Christmas.

But the point is, I care for my mother 24/7 - this is my week off - and although, with a few memorable glitches, her medications are tolerably under control, I am there *all day long* and all night as well.

If you work, if you don't live with your parents, or even if you do live with them but, say, have small children in the house or something else that unpredictably claims your attention, it is just not fair for people to make airy remarks about taking responsibility for dispensing medications. Not when it is beginning to get complicated, and especially not when there are two different prescription lists, and even more especially not when some of the medications are potentially toxic to patients who haven't been prescribed them.

CathyGo, if you do live with your parents then I'd make no bones about it - remove the px meds, by main force if necessary, and put them in a locked cupboard. If your father complains tell him the innocent have to suffer equally with the guilty, and besides if your mother keeps on pinching his meds he won't be independent for long. Dispense as necessary - although if one of them's Lasix I really hope you're around at lunchtime or in the afternoon for dose 2 because otherwise your dad will be up and down like a whore's drawers all night long getting up to wee.

If you don't live with them then I am afraid you will have to source automated, tamper-proof dispensing boxes and fill them for them. It is very tedious and you need to concentrate. Do you live with your parents, or how often are you able to visit them?

Hmm. Business opportunity, here: does anyone know of a pharmacy that has thought of offering a foolproof Total Prescription Solution, including fancy pants boxes with the medications pre-loaded?

I take full charge of all meds at this point. Countrymouse, my daughter suggested a locking pill box that will only open one compartment every 24hrs. Less likelihood of overdosing. I'm there daily and in the beginning was finding my mom's pills all around my dad's bed!

My parents had finally come to the place where they needed help with their meds. Dad was in the beginning stages and mom had serious health problems requiring 14 to 18 meds a day. It was too much for them to handle. Even though dad was having memory issues, he was aware of the date of the month. So we purchased 2 MedCenter boxes. They have 31 individual daily boxes with space for 4 times a day. One side is green and the other side is red. Google -"MedCenter 31 Day Pill Organizer". They were a life saver. We could put dads meds up for the month. Moms were a little more tricky, but they were able to handle each day without trying to figure out if they took their meds or not. It can even come with an alarm for taking them. I would recommend it for anyone in your situation. Obviously you will need to monitor them, but you will be able to see more easily what might have been missed.

My sister made an alphabetical chart with a picture of each pill, so that putting them up was so much easier for both of us. We had a box for each of them that held their prescriptions along with the chart. These were put in a safe place that they could not get into. I hope this helps. I don't know what we would have done without those boxes.

As parents age they are not capable of dealing with the medication issue. I always set up the drugs for the week and distributed them to my father as the doctor said. They may forget to take the medicine on time and often the medicine needs them to have eaten something before taking the dose etc.

I would just be the person dispensing it or have a reliable person paid to handle it each day for them.

Good luck

I've been through a nightmare with moms meds. First I found a box from Lutheran Services. Coat $39 to install and teach me to use it. It beeped and a light flashed when it was time. She STILL tells me she thinks I loaded it wrong.
If I did she would sleep all day. She figured out that she could turn it by hand to the next dose so it became useless at only giving the right meds.
Recently I got a dispenser that cost $99 to install and teach me to load it, and I will pay the $50 a month "rental".
It is called Philips (one L) Medication Dispensing. Machine. It calls me if she doesn't take the meds out when it dispenses them. Called me when her electric went off, (it has a battery that lasts two days.). It tells her to "drink extra fluids with your meds". Which she doesn't , but I can hope . Their main customer # is
1-888-632-3261. It might work for you. I would set it by time. The 8:00 is Dads, the 10:00 is Moms, 6:00 is Dads, 8:00 is moms, etc. you can do up to 4 doses a day. I believe it holds 48 doses which I don't usually have enough pills to do 24 days for mom . Best of Luck! I know what you are going thru.
(I'm waiting to see if she figures out how to manipulate this one. It is locked.)